Never Tired of the Beach

Mia at Zuma Beach in Malibu, CA

I've been tired, you guys. They said that during the second trimester I'd have more energy. They lied! Well, first of all, I have been doing more than normal. In between shopping for back to school for Anneka, Mia and Laila, we've been trying to get them out of the house to have fun. We've driven around so they can find Pokemon on their phones and we've been going to the beach! We've decided the only place to go to the beach is either Pacific Palisades or Malibu. Not because we're uppity and we're like "Malibu is the only place to be!" it's because it's the easiest place to find parking, easy access to the beach bathrooms and the cleanest sand. When we first moved here, we were all about the beaches you see on tv and in movies, Santa Monica and Venice Beach. The last time we went to Santa Monica, it was over-crowded and took us forever to find parking. The last time we went to Venice Beach, it was over-crowded, took us forever just to get towards the parking only to find out it was expensive, oh and full! And then we ended up at Will Rogers State Beach in Pacific Palisades. This past Sunday, we went straight to Zuma Beach in Malibu. Okay, all beach bathrooms are gross. Even in Malibu! That'll always be a complaint, especially while pregnant. That's why we do potty breaks while driving all the way from Glendale to Malibu. It's like an hour drive with three kids. We have to stop at a fast food place along the way usually. Once we were there, it was great, totally worth the trip! The twins, who are usually afraid to go near the water, got over their fear finally! There was a lot of "I'll hold your hand" at first, but then it go to a point where I was trying to explain to Mia why she couldn't go further into the water, reminding her that we need to get her swim lessons (and honestly, we should've done that already! What is wrong with us?!). But it's okay. They were just fine with the water going up to their knees and building sand castles. Then we got home in time to give everyone showers, wash hair, and get them dinner and in bed at a semi-decent time.

I love the beach, but it truly leaves me exhausted! I went to bed that night around 9:30! Then the next day, I had my prenatal appointment. I got to see the baby again on the ultrasound and she hand her hand up and moving like she was dancing. It's probably all that kpop we listen to!

I want to go back to the beach more. It's so relaxing, especially now that we have chairs and a huge beach tent that covers all of us. Now we need one of those coolers with wheels because we go with a ton of food each time!

The Power of Great Friends

I had an off day yesterday. I started beating myself up over everything that's been going wrong. Keep in mind, nothing huge is going wrong. I know how blessed I am to have the life that I have with the people that surround me. I am grateful. But don't you just have those days where everything bothers you?

Sometimes, I get this feeling of doom and just think 'It's probably better if I just stay in bed'. Most days, I'm okay, truthfully. I don't sweat the small stuff and things just roll right off of me. Maybe it's because of the small kitchen fire that happened this past Sunday that I can't stop blaming myself for or the fact that I scratched the back of the van after pulling out of our parking spot. Keep in mind, I've cooked probably thousands of times on this stove in the 3 years since we've lived here and I've never severely burned food or caught the stove on fire. The one time I do it, I think "I'm never cooking again, that's it!" I know it sounds silly and I'm probably too old to have these thoughts and have this approach to life. I should know better. I probably shouldn't be beating myself up over putting another little scratch on the van, considering it's little and at least I didn't hit anybody or another car.

Today, things are looking a bit clearer. Yesterday all I could think was "I suck, what a terrible week!". Then I ran into Luisa, my friend who I have way too much in common with, including the same amount of daughters, and she made me feel better. She looked at the damage and pretty much kept me from crying, reminding me that it wasn't a big deal. Then I spent a while texting with Laura, another really good friend who has been there for me before when I needed support.

I try not to be one of those people who feel the need to tell everyone when I'm having a shitty day. But every now and then, you need to vent to people other than your husband. Every now and then, you need good, supportive friends who are going to say to you "It's okay, it's no big deal, you'll be fine." It's always so comforting talking to my two best friends, Luisa and Laura. They're two of the kindest, smartest people I've ever known. I'm very thankful for them also.

So in hindsight, I guess I'm doing much better today. I threw myself a little pitty party yesterday (with a few tears) and then picked myself back up. Besides, who has time to wallow in unnecessary sadness? I have to go grocery shopping, load the dishwasher then pick up the girls from school! I also have to find time for a workout today, but that's another post for another day.

That time we went to the beach

School is almost out for my girls. It's awesome because we have a lot of summer plans. I'm signing them up for either dance or music classes (or both), and we're going to explore all of the great things Los Angeles and beyond has to offer. I'm talking about the beach, farmer's markets, museums, the beach, the zoo, the beach, picnics in the park, the beach, oh, and did I mention the frickin' beach?

I'm sorry. I love Malibu. It's one of the reasons why living here is so awesome for me. I never thought I'd be a beach bum (especially considering I can't swim), but hey, here we are. The first time I visited the ocean was magical. We'd lived here for only 2 weeks and I needed to see the Santa Monica pier close-up. We drove all the way there just to realize that it's much colder in Santa Monica than it is in the valley. The girls had on dresses and no jackets. Thank God we had a throw from Ikea in the back of the van, so we could throw it over the twins who were 2 years old and still in a double stroller! I put my jacket on Ani and of course the husband wasn't cold. Ever. I'm pretty sure he's never been cold in his entire life.

Photo from that day, Santa Monica 2012

Nevertheless, we walked around the pier and then I announced that no matter how frickin' cold it was, I was determined to stick my feet in the ocean. I'd never been to the ocean, so I was going to stick some part of my body in it! So we all did. We took off our shoes, walked across the cold sand and stood there waiting for the tide to come in. It was so refreshing and cold! I giggled. Ani giggled. The twins cried. They were NOT having it!

I found it invigorating. We left right after that, going back to the van and apologizing profusely to the little ones. A great time was had by all. Well, not Mia and Laila. They were not happy after that. Don't worry, they fell asleep in the van 5 minutes after we drove off. Now they're beach bums too. They can't wait to go to our favorite place in the world, Zuma Beach!

Because Sitting in the House Sucks

At the park yesterday when some dude and his baby photobombed me.

I'm so tired. I probably shouldn't be up this early. After having a toothache for the past 3 days, I've been having trouble sleeping. The Advil works (the 600 MG my doctor gave me), but my dentist can't see me until Thursday for this root canal, so I'm kind of in hell right now.

Yesterday I said "screw it" and took the Advil and Orajel with me and we had a picnic in the park. Now see, that's not something I ever really thought about doing when we lived in Chicago. We had a park and playground near our house in the suburb of Chicago Ridge where we were living, but I don't know, I don't remember seeing other people doing it so perhaps that's why it never dawned on me.

The pic they'll use of me on the news if I'm ever arrested for drunken rowdiness.

Here in Los Angeles, there are so many parks you go past and you just see people hanging out in the grass, laying on a blanket, having barbecues, all the time! So why the hell not, right? We frequent the parks near our house, but after being in the house for the past week, I decided to go a little further and we ended up in Beverly Hills to his beautiful little park called Coldwater Canyon. It's not too far from home, maybe a 30-40 minute drive, depending on traffic. We drive through the valley then take this winding rode that goes through the hills. It's quite an adventure for someone who still can't get used to the high-ups and the wind-ings!

Me and my little Anneka during our picnic

Mia about to step into the water at Coldwater Canyon Park in Beverly Hills, CA

Either way, we had a great time. There's a little wading pond for the children and we let them take off their sandals and play in the water with all of the other small children. Unfortunately, I saw no celebrities. Let me tell you about this "famous park". Every time we're not there, I see online or on the news that some celeb mom was there with her kids like Jessica Alba, Gwen Stefani, Selma Blair. Hell, not too long ago, Mark Wahlberg was there! The day we go, no celeb parents there! It's okay, because that's not why we go there, we go there for the pond and the serenity of it all, and to just get away from our usual parks. But still...

The twins chasing bubbles their dad was blowing

Armed with my Orajel and Advil, I will conquer this world! Until Thursday when I won't need either anymore...then I'll conquer the world without those two things. You know what I mean!

Cut Back On Stuff

My laptop isn't working right, which makes it really hard to write. I've been so bored, you guys. So, so, so bored! And yes, I write on my iPhone, but after a while, your thumbs start to hurt! I'm going to end up with carpal-tunnel syndrome from trying to type stuff up while out. So right now, I'm blogging from an iPad, which is weird, to say the least.

I wish I had more of an update. All I have are ideas right now and trying to figure out ways to execute them. If anyone asks what I'm doing with my time, besides being a wife and mother, I'm taking time to think. Yes, I'm aware how that sounds. The last time I took time off to "think", I ended up dropping out of college. I'm not dropping out of anything and I'm not depressed again. What I need is a job. A lot of opportunities are coming my way but none of them pay. So yeah, that's particularly what I'm thinking about. How do I get paid? Our rent is about to go up and we're just going to have to cut back on stuff. Or you'll see me at your local Starbucks making lattes and shizz.

But I'm very optimistic and I have a few ideas up my sleeve, so you never know!

By the way, Bry is working on my laptop right now. Fingers crossed!

Worth It

Griffith Park

It has taken me over a week to recover from Disneyland. It was hot as crap and there was a lot of walking involved. Obviously, I knew all of this, especially since I'd been to Disney World 4 times in the past. It was totally worth it, though. We had a lot of fun and the kids got to meet Mickey and Minnie Mouse. We got a lot of great pictures and I was able to flood my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook with pictures.

Disneyland!

I always expect someone to say "Okay, Angie, we get it! You like your kids!" but no one is usually rude to me like that online. I'm not sure why either. A lot of people are rude online, but not to me so much. I get creepy people coming at me from time to time, but that's it. Which is a good thing because I'm the type of person who'd get angry, then upset, then just stop tweeting for a few days.

I did stop tweeting last week for a bit, perhaps a day and a half. Not because someone pissed me off, it was because I was just tired. After the Disneyland trip, I was just drained. We stayed at a hotel the day before and got in the pool with the kids. Bry even got into the pool with swim trunks on and his iphone in his pocket! Don't ask me if I laughed. Don't ask. Okay...I laughed. I laughed a lot...until I realized that his phone was completely broken! That was messed up.

Me and my lovelies in Griffith Park with our matching Frozen shirts on.

Then this past Sunday we went for a hike through Griffith Park. It was my idea. I'm trying to lose weight but not so much to a point where I'm weighing myself constantly, but I really want more energy. I want to be more physically active. I don't eat a lot of bad foods, I just never lost the baby weight from back-to-back pregnancies, one of them with twins! The most active I am usually includes loading a dishwasher, dropping off and picking up Ani from school (which really is just driving), and other cleaning things around the house. I also would like to be more outdoorsy. There's no reason to not be where we live in California. All of a sudden, I feel like I just want to explore more.

So yes, my muscles are sore from all the walking, plus I've gotten on the treadmill a few times in this past week. Advil helps. I'll be alright. The sore muscles are worth it!

Overdo It Than Under-Do It

For the last few days I've been thinking about my next moves. Yes, I'm still doing stand-up, but I'm sick of putting off what I could be doing today. I keep saying I'll do more once the twins are in school and blah blah blah. I understand that I, of course, would need someone to watch them if I'm out doing stuff during the day but I no longer want to use them as an excuse to do nothing!

So while I'm at home teaching the girls how to write their names and singing songs from Frozen, I'm planning what I need to do. I think I might try to get all three girls into a program over the summer just for a few hours a day so I have time to write and work on my act. It's very hard to even blog when every few minutes a kid needs juice or asks to play on the Kindle. I just got interrupted while making dinner reservations over the phone!

So on top of doing stand-up shows, I'm going to start shooting some comedic shorts for Youtube. I'd love to have something on Funny or Die. I wrote one that stars me and all three girls that Bry is going to shoot. It's pretty funny. We're going to shoot it next week. I'm also working on recording a song or EP as a solo artist. Not sure if I've mentioned this before, but Bry and I met years ago and started working on music as an acoustic rock duo called Strangers of Grace. This was before we were even dating. I wrote a song the other day in 10 minutes and Bry had the guitar and came up with music for it. And thank God for iPhone, because I used both mine and his to record it right then and there. I wrote the lyrics on the phone and e-mailed it to both of us. We've talked about using some of our old Strangers of Grace songs and writing new ones and then going to perform at some small club.

I think I get anxious when I'm not doing enough. Yes, I guess I can overdo it, as I have before and even lately. But I'd rather overdo it than under-do it. Does that make sense?


Here's a song we made that we never quite finished from a few years ago:

If you wanna see a few more semi-embarrassing, not-yet-finished songs we never performed live go here and here. Yeah, I say semi-embarrassing cause fuck it. Takes a lot to embarrass me. Ha!

Doubt Me, I'll Work Harder

Me performing on stage at the Silverlake Lounge this week.

It's been a weird week.

I don't want to speak about it publicly, but something happened last week, with a friend, that's had me upset all week. But whatever, life goes on. Thankfully, my Auntie Carol flew in from Chicago last week and kept my mind occupied. I also got the offer to be in a show mid-week and that kept me busy too. Then on Thursday night, I went to the Comedy Palace show in Los Feliz to see my friend Josh Fadem perform. Good times, good times.

Me and the hilarious Josh Fadem.

I also got to see Rob Delaney perform! Josh introduced us!

But then my aunt left yesterday to go back to Chicago, and my 7 year old daughter Ani cried in the car as we were dropping her off at LAX. That made me sad. I really dislike how far we are from family. We hadn't seen her in a long time and Ani and her really bonded while she was here. Then on top of that, I was worried about my mother all week. She had to go to the ER and they kept her overnight, so I was getting updates from my aunt, and not wanting to let the girls know. No need in telling little kids that their grandmother was in the hospital. My mom is fine and they released her after tests were done. It's strange because I'm kind of estranged from my mother but I've talked to her through texts. But I let Bry, my husband know that if something went down, I'd be on the first plane back to Chicago.

I don't know. It's weird. A few things are bothering me right now, but nothing I can't handle. Things could be worse. I'm spending my time working on stand-up material. I have a show at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank on April 24th so I'm going to hit some open mics before then to work on some new material. It's a show in the Main Room, which I've never performed in before, only the YooHoo Room.

All of that, along with the 2 doctors appointments for the kids last week (one because of Laila's nosebleeds and allergies), and then registering the twins for Kindergarten and a dental appointment for all three kids coming up this week.

And I just want to add, though I said I wouldn't speak on it publicly...a so-called friend said I wasn't dedicated to my career and it wasn't fair I was getting all the breaks. I'm not getting breaks, I'm still a nobody! I get booked for shows because I do my research, find out who's booking these, then ask questions. I show up, be funny and then leave in time to get home to my kids. To even think that I'm not taking my career seriously is stupidity on your behalf. I moved my entire family across the country, away from the safety and comfort of my entire family! I made Bry find a new job out here! He could've said hell no! I risked a lot to move out here to do this! Don't ever doubt me, it only makes me work harder.

New Look! Better Blog!

Hey guys!

So I've updated the look of my blog! What do you think? It looks better, I think. I had the same layout for about 2 years! I'm trying to get more traffic to this blog to showcase my writing and just share some of the crazier things that happens in my life.

Ever since I moved to L.A., things have been way more interesting. Actually, things have been so hectic that I forgot to mark the 2-year anniversary of us moving here! We moved from Chicago on March 7th, 2012 and we were supposed to celebrate! We didn't, and oh well, and yes, that's kind of messed up, but that's okay.

I want to start covering more ground with this blog also. I don't want to just post things about my life and what I'm doing day-to-day. I'd like to add more content, such as favorite videos, lists, funny things, stupid things, etc. I'd like to also possibly do a few interviews here and there.

I got a lot of advice from looking at other blogs and from asking friends. I'd love to do this blog full-time instead of trying to find a job outside of the home so I can be here for my kids! The twins don't start school until the fall, so in the meantime, I would just like to do something here in the comfort of my home, right next to them.

That's it for now and I will be posting on this thing more often! Later guys!

Angie xo

Yeah, so...

Yeah, so...

I've been in a funk in the past week. It could be because we switched rooms with our daughters and now I'm having trouble sleeping in their old little room. My room was quite comfortable. Now it sucks. The end.

It was a great decision, though. It's 3 little girls who are getting bigger, they should have the bigger room. Especially now that they're getting older, they need more room for playing, and their three beds, including a bunk bed. There are no more toddler beds, so it just made sense. When we moved here 2 years ago, we gave them the smaller room because the bigger room has a bathroom in it and I didn't trust the then 2-year-old twins to not put toys in the toilet. Now, both are fully potty trained and love having their own bathroom.

I don't know why I'm having trouble sleeping in that room. It's the same bed, some dresser, etc. I don't know.

Then I got this really hateful e-mail from my brother yesterday that put me even deeper in a funk. I haven't spoken to my brother in almost 2 years, my mother in almost 1. He sends me this message saying "I get mad at mama too, but I've never gone that long without talking to her!" Okay, first of all, she was here with me and my family in Los Angeles for 3 weeks and made my life a living hell. She ruined Christmas for me and yelled at me and called me stupid in front of my children. Then in March of last year, she sends me a text message calling me terrible and telling me to have a nice life. I remember it because I didn't delete the text messages, just in case I decide to forgive her, I can go back and read those so I can stay mad.

He also told me karma was going to get me. Don't get me started on all of the horrible and truly terrible things he's done that he should really worry about if there is a such thing as karma.

And I don't really care if it's "unhealthy" or whatever, to hold on to anger. I believe what's healthy for me is not having people in my life who will call me names and make me feel like less than garbage. Since I've been in L.A., I've surrounded myself with good people. People who don't try to drag you down and make you feel guilty about everything you do. I was made to feel guilty for wanting to move out to Los Angeles for my career, better opportunities and for the sake of my kids and husband. I was told I was selfish and my husband would end up leaving me.

But truthfully, this is a much longer story than I'm willing to provide right now, in this blog. I've probably said too much already, but whatever. I don't want to bite my tongue anymore and writing about it is truly the best therapy.

My current group of friends are supportive, kind and truly beautiful people. And my kids make it impossible to be sad for too long.

But It's Cool Tho...

I had a little bit of family drama today, but I'm cool. This is the same person who does this quite often, so I'm used to it. No point in even getting all upset like I used to. I'm a grown woman now and his words can't affect me the way they used to. Moving on.

I try to keep drama out of my life. I got rid of a negative person from my life recently because I realized that all she was looking for was drama and negativity. Besides, when you start to realize you can't stand being around someone or when your phone rings you think "I hope it's not her", it's probably time to just let that friendship go. I didn't miss the ghetto stories, the "that dude ain't shit" stories or the "nigga please" stories or the "I know what I did was stupid, but I love him..". I keep that stuff out of my life entirely. That's why I don't watch Tyler Perry movies. That crap just annoys me now.

Besides, you start to realize that some people are just talk. Plain and simple. I feel happier, freer without certain elements in my life. Just because someone is blood related to you, doesn't mean you have to take their abuse. Just because you've known someone most of your life doesn't mean you have anything in common or even on the same page.

And I'm sick of biting my tongue and worrying what people think of me or are saying behind my back. I grew up wondering who was talking about me behind my back. That's all bullshit now. I realized if I don't want to deal with certain people, I don't have to, and I'm not going to feel guilty for not calling someone or hanging out with someone. If you don't like a person, then just leave them alone!

I live a pretty drama-free life here in L.A. Yeah, sometimes it gets a little dull, but thank God I have so much stuff coming up to keep me busy, things won't be dull anymore. Bry and I have been exploring L.A. on our own, without the kiddies. Thank God for my family visiting so much! My mom referred to me and the girls as her "4 Princesses". That made me smile. My family actually misses me. That's pretty awesome. I miss them, and I miss Chicago, but I don't miss the cold. Or the snow. Oh God, the snow. Thank God I don't have to deal with that this winter!!!

A Stressful Week

Laila Raine

Laila, today at Pinkberry. She loves frozen yogurt!

A few days after she hurt her teeth. She seemed just fine. Thank God.

I've had a stressful week, with Laila getting hurt and 2 straight weeks of family being here, now I don't know how to be on my own again. Lol.
I mean, I haven't been alone with my own kids for 2 weeks! Bry even had a decent amount of days off with my family being in town. I'm used to having a house full of people!
And now I'm bored.
On the plus, Bry and I are working on a graphic novel. It doesn't have a title yet, but I already wrote out an entire storyline. Bry is supposed to be drawing the characters. He's an amazing artist.

And my teeth hurt. I was leaning over to kiss Laila on her forehead while she was laying in her bed and she moved, smacking me in the front teeth with her head. Ouch indeed! That shit hurt!!!

On another plus, I got the twins completely off the pacifiers! Yes, I know, they're 3, they should've been off of them a long time ago. It took Laila falling on her mouth, hurting her two front teeth to the point where they were pushed up into her gums and bleeding, then taking her to the dentist and the dentist telling us that she had an "Open bite" which was probably caused by the pacifier. I went home and threw all of those fuckers in the garbage. No turning back! I've tried to break them off of them before and I wussied out by giving it back to them. That's why this time I threw them in the garbage. When they cried for them at bedtime, I told them that they were all gone, and I hugged and kissed them. Thank God my aunt was still here because during the day she kept them occupied so they weren't asking for them as much.

Now, a week later, Laila's mouth is healing and she's no longer complaining of pain. It was terrible when it first happened. Blood, crying (both her and me), then a trip to the ER, then right to the dentist after we left the hospital. She was giggling and acting silly an hour or two after it happened, but the dentist said her teeth might 'right' themselves over time. I'll pray on that. Poor Lailee...

And a whole week without pacifiers. And they're not asking for them anymore. And they go right to sleep at bedtime.

Thank God!

Touristy and Weight-lossy things

I've had an interesting week.

My mom and aunts came to visit from Chicago. We spent a lot of time just driving around and showing them the touristy places around L.A.

Also, I've been jogging! I'm still trying to drop some weight, and none of my clothes fit...everything is hanging off of me. Excuse to shop! It's really cool. I'm finally losing the baby weight...from 3 years ago! But keep in mind, I had twins! I had 3 pregnancies back to back...first Ani in 2006, then I got pregnant and had a miscarriage in 2008, then got pregnant with the twins right after. So the weight piled on, and now I'm really working harder to lose it. I'm thinner right now than I've been in a long time.

Well, we're off to show my Auntie Martha the Hollywood sign. She's never seen it before.

Did I mention I met Stalker Sarah at Chateau Marmont? Right before Lindsay Lohan drove by! lol

Later gators.

Me and my mom

At Chateau Marmont with Stalker Sarah!

The twinsies on their 3rd birthday on June 4th!

Paint the town red, or whatever...

So my family will be in town for two weeks! I can't wait to see my mom's face the first time she sees the Hollywood sign and the walk of fame and all of those other tourist-y happy things you show people when they first come to L.A. I hope she doesn't get her hopes up, thinking we'll run into George Clooney or something! Whatever, you never know! I hope to spot at least one celebrity that means something to her! And my Auntie Carol, who helped me discover the magic that was Natalie Wood, I can't wait to take her to Grauman's to see Natalie's handprints. It was a little emotional for me when I came here back in November for the first time. Natalie Wood has always had a special place in my heart. Her movies, her acting, her life story, just moves me. What an amazing person.

You know what else family visits mean?! Baby-sitters! The husband person and I are going to paint the town red, or whatever color people say. Why red, though? What does that even mean? Red with envy because we're out and no one else is? But everyone else is out, that's how they're seeing us. It's not like we're the only people that can go out...okay, I'm rambling.

I got a big announcement coming in the next few weeks. Just you wait! More work for me! More nerve-wrecking, knocking-me-out-of-my-comfort-zone work! But hey, that's what the fuck I came here for!

Laters.

What's Next

Well, I'm preparing for my aunts and mom to visit and the twins' 3rd birthday. We're doing a Barbie theme party, with Barbie's face on the plates, decorations, cups, etc. from Party City. I also have to worry about showing my family a good time while they're here. I have a few plans, like the classic stuff: The Hollywood Sign, Grauman's Chinese Theater, Walk of Fame, etc. But, my mom has a cast on her leg, so I can't park blocks away and drag her around Hollywood, so it'll probably be me and Auntie Carol doing these things. Hollywood Blvd. scares the twins. There are always these people dressed up as Spongebob and Superman and Darth Vader. These scare my soon to be 3 year olds. I understand! It is a little scary, I guess, when you're that young.

Also, I had a really cool business meeting with Ms. Lisa Shows, who's in the play "Reservoir Bitches" with me. We met up at Intelligentsia in Silverlake and talked about doing a web series or a podcast. We decided we'll do the Podcast sooner than later, now we're just trying to figure out where we can record it where there isn't a bunch of noise. Where we'll be uninterrupted. I'm thinking this over right now...

In the meantime, we only have two shows left of the play and I'm thinking I want to do another play. I'm sending out my headshots and resumes to other theaters, and I'll ask my current director if any shows are coming up at that theater. We'll see what happens!

Toodles!

Grossly Negligent and Barf-Inducing

Yes, I Tumble, or whatever the cool kids are calling it. Am I one of the cool kids yet??!

http://angelinascene.tumblr.com/

And follow me on Twitter, bitches. I'm sorry. You're not bitches, Party People. I don't know what came over me. Please follow me on Twitter, that's what I meant, yep:

http://www.twitter.com/angelinascene

Also, I'm almost at 6000 pageviews of all time on this blog! I'm really wondering who's actually reading this mess of run-on sentences, depravity, self-abashing, too much information, tongue-in-cheek, over-exaggerated, under uniformed, over-the-top, drama queen'ed, overly comedic, grossly negligent, barf-inducing, take-no-prisoners, no-holds-barred, diarrhea festival that is my life. All I talk about is Los Angeles, my kids, what people do that annoy me, and who I find attractive. Thank you for reading but not telling me how much of an assbag I must look like in these writings. In my defense, I write these a lot of the time at night while Bry is talking to me and we're watching Glee. And then, I don't go back and read them. That's probably for the best. I like being open about my life, whether or not I have fans. And if it's only my family reading these...hi mom, aunts and Kecia! lol

Laterz.

(ending "later" with a 'z' instead of an 's' is douchey, right? Or is it cool? Comments, opinions?)

You Can't Force Someone to Love You

It really trips me out that so many people have been reading this little ol' blog. This thing started out of boredom, then just became an outlet for my musings. Now, I've been using it to update friends, family, well-wishers and haters about my triumphant move to Los Angeles (3 weeks baby! Yeah!).

With that said, I think I haven't been updating this thing enough, really. I mean, that's mostly because I stay pretty busy with the kids and packing and watching a lot of tv (really, pay attention to my GetGlue profile...lol).

I've been going through emotional things when it comes to my family and friends. Not any close friends, thank God, but close family members. For some reason, I'm not allowed to be upset with people in my family, and by upset I mean "crying, you hurt me" upset instead of "I hate you, please die" upset. Some people can't tell the difference. So I tell a certain person that I'm hurt, and I'm crying, it's mistaken for anger and certain people really don't seem to care that I'm moving across the country in less than a month and doesn't want to take advantage of the time they have with me and would instead feel better being angry at me moving across the country and chalk it up to "You're moving to L.A, I assumed I would never see you again"...though this person has no problem going to the south or Las Vegas on gambling trips, it's way too much to take a flight to Los Angeles to see a person you're supposed to love.

But you can't force someone to love you. You can't force someone to care. You can't grab someone and yell at them "why don't you love me?!" because it's not going to make them see you any other way. They're not going to wake up tomorrow morning and admit they're wrong, or apologize or hug and kiss you and say how much they love you. It'll never happen so it's time to let it go. I'm 30, I'm a mom...all I can do is adore my little girls and make sure they never have to question my love for them.

Okay...well...I'm a writer and I just wrote one long run-on sentence. Now I feel sick because I went against several of my rules...including the run-on sentence and using the word "haters".

Laters.