I Feel Old

I haven't updated this blog in a while. I know, I say that every time I come back to this thing. The truth of the matter is, I haven't had much time. All summer, I was home with the kids. We did a lot this summer. My Aunt Carol visited for the month of June and she's really into getting out and doing stuff, so it forced me to get out more. We took the girls to the playground more often. I also got a Fitbit to count my steps.

Then last month I decided to become a vegan. I was a vegetarian on and off through my teen years and 20s. I didn't have the right kind of discipline, or money, to keep it up. And when others around you are all "How can you give up fried chicken?", it was easy for me to go back to meat. It's not going to happen this time.

I'll try to update this blog more often now that the girls are back in school. Anneka is in 3rd grade and the twins are in 1st grade. And I feel old.

Birthday in Chicago

Yesterday was my birthday...yes, it was fantastic! I woke up to the dining room garnished with movie-style decorations from Party City, and 3 little girls and hubby who had a bunch of presents, including the new Kindle Fire and some snazzy Betsey Johnson heels! Quite exciting for me, as you can see. Then, on top of that, I got my mom and aunt to watch the girls so Bry and me can go out and have a fun time in the city, alone. Not as mom and dad, but as Angie and Bry! Not that I didn't miss them...to be perfectly honest, I spent most of the day hugging and kissing at them like I'd been away from them for days!

We went to this Vegan restaurant on the city's north side called the Chicago Diner. I had vegan country fried steak, which was made of this stuff called Seitan, which tasted really a lot like chicken! It was interesting and delicious! I'm really enjoying being a vegetarian this time. I'm five seconds from veganism, but I still drink cow's milk. But I don't eat any meat, no eggs, no fish. And I'm perfectly fine with it this time, and I feel better than I've felt in a long time! Then on top of that, I've been going back to the gym, trying to get California Slim! And by that, I mean my idea of what I should be, which is not skinny. I like having hips and boobs. Hubby likes me having hips and boobs! LOL

But nonetheless, today I spent kissing toddlers, cleaning up, signing the lease, and paying the deposit on our new Los Angeles apartment! Shyeah! It feels good to think that in 20 days we shall be there. There's still a few things that need to be figured out, logistically...like, if we're having our things shipped, and they're saying give it 4 business days to get there, where are we going to stay for 4 days? In our empty apartment here, the empty apartment there, or take another couple of hundred dollars and stay in a hotel? Yeah, that's what we're figuring out. The hotel thing sounds better, considering we're travelling with a 5 year old and 2- 2 year olds!

Hanging our around Chicago, going to the Betsey Johnson store in the Water Tower, going over the downtown bridge, eating at a restaurant on the north side...I think I'm already getting a little homesick. And I had the nerve to be out there in 30 degree weather with a short dress on with see-through lace sleeves (see pic above) and some flats, a coat, a hat, a scarf, no gloves...and I'm the one who's always complaining about the weather! No worries, though, because Bry found a parking spot a block away from the Water Tower, and right in front of the restaurant when we went up north. Yes, my nose is a little runny today! Who asked you?! It's all for the greater good though. I looked cute on my birthday! Haha!

Laters.

P.S. What also made yesterday pretty cool was Jontynise and me got several celebs to tweet Happy Birthday to me, including Kelsey Chavarria and Saj Golde from "The Real L Word", Layzie Bone from my favorite rap group of all time, Bone Thugs N Harmony, and Wesley Jonathan, who I've had a crush on since I was a kid! And the adorable, wonderful Sherri Dupree-Bemis, from Eisley! She told me too! Even though I just talked to her like, 3 times last week, it still made me happy!

A Little Paranoid...

I'm sleepy, drinking wine and in bed watching "Dateline: Real Life Mysteries" on TLC. Okay, first of all, it's 11:35 on a Saturday night, I'm in bed with my husband, and I'm on my laptop, while he's on his Ipad. WTF, right? It's been a weird day. I went to Wal-Mart, bought some vitamins and health food stuff, seeing as how I'm a vegetarian now...again. I've felt a little light-headed since I gave up fish and eggs also, so I went and bought some supplements, including iron pills and protein powder for smoothies. Yeah, I don't find this gross, as I've bought the pre-made smoothies at Target that have protein powder in it already. I guess I'm just considered a weirdo in my family.

Me & my 5 year old daughter, Anneka Lucia

My aunt has been over all weekend, which is cool, because that gives me and Bry time to go out and do things without the kids, as we're trying to remember what it's like to just be married, and not just be "mommy and daddy". So we go out and run around the suburbs, not too far away, and I'm always a little paranoid, thinking about the kids. So we get back, and my aunt tells me that Mia had woken up crying for a minute or two, then went back to sleep, and that Ani had a nightmare and she had to calm her down. Yes, I felt guilty. I felt, for a moment, that I should have been there to calm her down. Usually, if I hear her mumbling in her sleep and sounding distressed, I go in her room and kiss her forehead and her cheek and whisper "It's okay" and "I love you", and usually, it works. It's almost like perhaps I work my way into the scary dream and it un-scaries it. I hope that's what happens. Tonight, I felt like I should have been here to kiss her and get rid of the nightmare. Yes, I'm crazy paranoid like that. And do you see why I never do anything??! LOL

Anyway, the kids are fine, they were well taken care of, Auntie Martha handled the situation fine, she didn't need to call me, and keep in mind, she's been dealing with kids much longer than I have. Yes, I'm sure Ani would have preferred to have me here to comfort her, but she was fine and I have to just look at it like that.

I'm getting out of my head, though. I'm working on it. You know, I never thought I would have kids. My brother's kids made me nervous. Perhaps it was because he came over with 4-5 of them at a time and I was a teenager, or maybe because I was always told I was a fuck-up and a dropout and I could never have the patience for kids. Now, I'm that mom who's like "There's too many kids at the playground, I don't want the girls to get knocked down by the bigger kids" or "that's not 100% juice!" I sing along to the Wiggles...I love Pocoyo just as much as they do...and no, it's not weird to be that invested in your kids...I just hope that my fears and paranoia don't end up affecting them. I want them to be able to go out into the world and try new things and if they aren't successful at everything I try, I don't want them to be afraid to try again. And I will never call them failures or screw-ups or God forbid, fuck-ups. I'll be here with open arms, and convince them to try again.

Okay, enough of this snizz. I'm going back to whooping on Bry in "Words with Friends". He is yet to beat me. Perhaps I should let him win to help his self-esteem....nahhhhhhhh!

Laters.

To Vegan or Not to Vegan...

Sometimes I really don't know what I should be writing about. My life lately has been repetitive. Everything in my life is either the amazing things my three daughters have been doing, or a variety of things related to our move to Los Angeles...including finding an apartment, plane tickets, moving companies, etc. etc. I'm not posting about that, unless I have a gripe or two. So far, no such gripes.

I could also gripe about the weather, seeing as how we were supposed to be in L.A. already by this time, but instead we're here, waiting for his job to transfer. And I can't complain too much, because hell, we're so lucky that he has a job to transfer to! Nevertheless, the snow is annoying. Chicago was hit with like, 8 inches of snow or something over the past 2 days, and it sucks all hell. It's really bad also because of the low temperatures. It was 8 degrees when I woke up the other morning!

But on to the positive, I've been trying to reverse a few of the problems I've been having by taking a new outlook on life and changing my lifestyle. Now keep in mind, by saying I'm changing the way I eat, I just mean that I'm finally giving up meat for good. But of course with me, it feels like it's not enough. I had given up chicken, beef, pork and turkey. Okay, I never was much of a beef eater, even less of a pork eater. I would eat a burger or steak maybe once every two months. Well, because of my stomach problems, I seriously had to rethink all I was doing. I once got an upset stomach from eating fruit! FRUIT! Yes, that sounds ridiculous. It was a mixture of the stress I was under and all of the bad foods I was eating! So I gave up the chicken nuggets, the crispy chicken sandwiches, the fish sticks, because just because it's not beef or pork, doesn't mean it's healthy! I got a gym membership, I even stopped eating fish (mainly because I realized I was allergic to it! You're not supposed to get tingly lips and a sore throat from eating fish?! Really? Lol).

So, instead of sitting around complaining, or, you know, starving, I just started eating vegetables, rice, pasta, fruits, and Boca and MorningStar products. I mean, I seriously love the Boca Vegan Burger! And then I downloaded a vegan cookbook to my Kindle! I don't know if I can go totally vegan, but I might try it for a week or two, just to see if I starve to death! Besides, seeing my old friend Jennifer Hudson accomplish what she did, losing 80 pounds and completely changing her life...I mean, if my girl can do it, I can do it. It's seriously weird seeing someone who I used to know (Dunbar high school choir, what! lol), up there, doing her thing, winning awards, being beloved by millions and just being an inspiration. I saw a Dateline interview with her today, and I just realized I still love that girl. We weren't best friends in high school, but we hung with some of the same people and she was always a sweetheart. So glad that she's accomplished so much and overcome so much. I bought her book for the Kindle too. I'm going to start reading it tonight!

Later Homies!