Tuesday, August 26, 2014

My Therapist Says...

I had this plan to try to blog everyday once the girls were in school, but things don't always go as planned. They are now in their third week of school and this is the first blog I've posted in forever. It's been at least a month since I even looked at this thing. But in my defense, a lot has been going on.

By a "a lot", I really mean "not much". I know. I just contradicted myself. It feels like nothing's been going on, I mean. No job, nothing exciting. I'm not doing any stand-up and tv show appearances. I haven't been on Inside Edition in over a month. Not that they don't want to use me or anything, it's just they haven't needed commentary on certain news stories, except one day last week. They called, but I had such a sore throat that my speaking voice wasn't normal. I was barely squeaking out words so I had to turn them down.

The first week of school, I was a little depressed. My twins started kindergarten and Ani started 2nd grade. It was just a reminder that they are growing up and there was nothing I can do about it. At least when Ani started kindergarten, I had the twins to focus on. Now, no one's at home for me to focus on. Except for me.

I started seeing a therapist. She wants me to focus on me. I'm so used to putting other people first, I've forgotten what I wanted. I've forgotten what I came out here to do before it's too late. Honestly, I never expected to be a mom, but I certainly never saw myself as this over-obsessive "helicopter" parent. I drop them off at school, then stand outside of the gate watching them in their respective lines. I dress all three of them alike everyday. I'm overly worried about if the twins are making friends and if their teacher is paying attention to them.

Focus on me? That's kind of a joke, right? Yes, I now have hours in the day where I can have a full thought uninterrupted, but what else am I supposed to be doing? I've been making money by Tweeting for major brands. I buy stuff cheap then sell them on eBay for profit. That's my business. That's what I've been doing to bring extra money into the house. But I haven't done stand-up in months, I haven't been on any auditions, and I haven't even been keeping up with this blog.

My therapist says I'm too hard on myself. She's right, I know. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do certain things and if I don't succeed, I kick myself when I'm down. This week I've felt much better about things. Last week I was sick and kept the girls home a few days because they were sick too. I spent those days laying around, taking medicine and eating very little. I lost a few pounds. This week, I'm reassessing and making myself "do". I have all of this time to do what I moved my family out here to do. And there's this voice in the back of my head that's sing-songing "Don't screw it  upppp". Well I'm telling that voice to FUCK OFF.

Was this entire post one big, long ramble? See...I'm still being too hard on myself. Don't tell my therapist.

Friday, August 1, 2014

The Summer of TV

This has been the summer of catching up on tv. Shut up, all of you! Yes, I know, this is L.A., I'm near beautiful beaches and all that. But let me just say this...it's hot outside! And didn't you guys hear about that lightning strike at Venice Beach last weekend? That's terrifying to me! Oh, and sharks. There are sharks. 

These bitches!

Anyway, I've been in the house a lot lately. I go out from time to time, obviously, and thanks to my dear friend Laura for coming to visit me, knowing I'm kind of cooped up in the house with the kids. I can't say that I've been bored or anything, as I've been selling stuff on eBay and Tweeting for money (yes, you can do that). I've been doing all of that on top of being a mom to 3 little girls who always want juice or Goldfish crackers and stuff like that. I've also been cleaning the house! (I felt very good after cleaning the hell out of the bathroom and then didn't want anyone to use it because that bitch was SPOTLESS.)

I'm also writing a new pilot. I wrote a pilot called "Jersey Did It", but I entered it in this contest called NBC Playground so hopefully I'll hear from them soon. So I started writing a new pilot, untitled for  now, and I'm just working out the kinks and getting some ideas for it before I sit down and write the actual script in Final Draft. 

The talented Mindy Kaling...love her!

So, television, right! I've been watching the crap out of The Mindy Project. I started watching it when it first premiered, then I got busy in life and episodes piled up on the dvr then slowly got deleted. Whatever, I'm making up for it now with Hulu Plus, which I originally signed up for for The Hotwives of Orlando, which is epic, by the way. And I'm not just saying that because my friend Tymberlee Hill is on it. The show is HILARIOUS! Unfortunately, I binge watched it and now it's over and that sucks. I hope there will be a season 2!

The Hotwives of Orlando. This show is amazing. Check it out!

I'm also really excited because I found out last night that NBC announced there will be a season 2 of Undateable! And again, I not only love that show because I've met all of the guys on the show at some point (especially Chris D'elia, who's the reason I started doing stand-up in the first place, regardless of that stupid fucking thing he said during that live interview, but I digress...).  Undateable is truly funny. There are very few shows on tv right now that make me laugh so hard I have to pause it, then complain of chest pains, go drink some water, use the toilet, then go back to watching it but first rewind the episode to hear that joke again!

Me with Chris D'elia from 'Undateable'

Me with Brent Morin from 'Undateable'

Another show that makes me laugh that hard is Nathan for You! How can you not love Nathan Fielder?! He's so epic for so many reasons. He's so awkward and acts like people don't want to be around him like he's some sort of loser weirdo, but I'd love to be around him! If I run into him, I might just invite him over to play Checkers or something like that. I bet he has a beautiful girlfriend and great friends and all of that. But on his show, he acts like he's never kissed a woman let alone had sex and that no one ever wants to be around him. Great acting! I think he's hot!

I love this man!

So I guess I'll go back to watching The Mindy Project for now then check to see if these shoes I'm selling on eBay have any bids yet. Later!