Stand-up Stage Fright

I've been sitting here working on doing my first stand-up open mic. I have lots of jokes written, but I was just going through them, putting them together and seeing what really works. I even recorded myself on my phone, then went over it several times to see if I remembered it. You know,  it's really easy to remember something you wrote yourself. It was so much fun doing "Local Couple Wins Lottery", especially when I realized that the words had stuck in my head, because I wrote them! I had a little bit of difficulty with the play I was in "Reservoir Bitches", but in my defense, I didn't have much rehearsal time. I still find it amazing that I can remember anything nowadays. Yeah, stuff gets forgotten.

Anywho...I want this bad enough, so I'm going to bust my ass to do it. I also would love to book some gigs in Chicago sometime in the fall and fly in and make some money! I have a lot of friends in Chicago who could possibly show up too! And of course, I could stay with my mom and spend time with my family. But first I should probably conquer this little bit of stand-up stage fright, huh? I'm on it...

Next Steps...

So, I'm thinking about what my next step is...considering I'll be in L.A. to work soon. The original plan was to continue doing "Local Couple Wins Lottery", the web series I did as a SAG signatory, that made me eligible to join the Screen Actor's Guild. Well, that looks like it's not going to happen any time soon as I'm the only one of the series actually moving to L.A. right now. I thought about continuing my Improv studies at Second City Hollywood...or The Groundlings (where Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig took Improv) or even I.O. (Improv Olympics, where Tina Fey also went, though the Chicago one...). So I've been pretty confused on what to do.

A talent manager who I'd been in contact with and met with in L.A. had some great advice to me...she wanted me to take some more acting classes once I got there, and actually be more prepared for when she can take me on as a full-on client. Out there, it's harder to get an adult in front of the right people, i.e. casting directors, talent agents, without the right stuff on your resume. Truthfully, I haven't had a bunch of acting training. I took Acting 1 when I went to Columbia College in Chicago, and then I took Acting 1 & 2 at Second City and Improv 1 there also. That's not a bunch of training, truthfully, if I'm looking to get on a sitcom, which is my goal right now. So I told the manager that I would study with a great teacher there, really understand the craft of acting, and then go out and audition for EVERYTHING...so I'll have a pretty pumped up resume by pilot season next year. But at the same time, I really love being behind the camera...and I really want to enter the writing program at Second City. Writing is essentially what makes me the happiest, the one thing that I feel the most confident in, about the acting and the singing.

So, while I'm working on other people's projects as an actor, I'm going to be working on mine. I have two projects coming up with my best friend Jontynise Smith. The first, is a comedic web series I wrote for her to star in, and I play her sister. She plays Abby, a comedy writer who's newly divorced and already questioning if she should enter a relationship with the guy she likes down the hall. It's called "With Haste", and it's bound to angry up certain people I know (clears throat) because I play a lesbian stand-up comedian. Yep. Anyway, I'm directed it and producing it also. And maybe I'll get a signatory contract for it also. On top of that, Jontynise and I are discussing doing a pilot for a show we wrote when we were pregnant with our daughters 5 years ago called "Me, You and Josh" about two best friends/roommates who are in love with the same guy. It's a comedy and it's ridiculous. I might actually start asking for donations to complete these projects, because God knows I need a Mac to edit these bad boys. It was a pain in the ass trying to edit on this POS Dell laptop...it gave me such headaches editing "Local Couple Wins Lottery".

Nevertheless, catch up on it...here's episodes 1-4 of "Local Couple Wins Lottery"!

Re-focuzation (is that a word?!)

So when I get to L.A., I have no specific goal. In the past, I had goals and plans, that didn't pan out for some reason or another. This time, I want to just wing it. I want to get there, and just try everything. I want to audition for film, tv, plays, commercials, music videos, whatever. I also want to continue to do web series. You know what, I really like doing web series! I really like the fact that because of Youtube, I can be creative in so many different ways. I think for the next web series, I'm just going to be behind the scenes. I was going to play a small part in the next web series, but instead I think I just want to write/direct and produce. Things with "Local Couple Wins Lottery" seem to be stalled right now, mostly because I don't have a huge amount of time to do what I want to do...so I think once I get to L.A., I just need to refocus. Right now, I'm so focused on getting to L.A., that other things have been taking a back seat. So for the next 2 weeks, I'm re-refocusing, but on Anneka's 5th birthday! We're having a Smurfs birthday party because she loves Smurfette because she has yellow hair, Ani says. Yeah, her favorite color is yellow. Laters.

Adorable...but DANGEROUS

Usually, I wake up in the morning as Bry is leaving for work, get the girls started with some cereal, juice, milk, whatever, then go into the living room to watch a little tv and have a mug of coffee to get through the day. Yes, I said mug, not cup. You need a bunch to deal with three kids on your own the whole day! Well, lately, I've been having these stomach problems that keep me from having that amount of caffeine first thing in the morning! It's like, if I have coffee in the morning, my stomach will start hurting a short amount of time later...and yes, I have a doctor's appointment to check up on it, but still! So I've offset it by drinking a small amount of caffeine here and there throughout the day, with food. And I've been trying to eat foods that will give me energy, especially since I haven't really been eating meat. Everything seems to make my stomach hurt lately! Family think it's the stress of the move, working on the web series, the kids, etc. etc.

I'm trying not to think too much of it, because, obviously, it could just be acid reflux, which seems to run in my family and I'll just have to take Zantac or something everyday. But stressing about if stress is causing my stomach pain doesn't sound like a good idea, right?? And usually I'm fine with energy, especially lately as long as I'm eating small amounts of food throughout the day while taking care of the kids, doing housework, writing, etc. I've been eating a lot of apples, oatmeal, yogurt, cereal, just things that don't hurt my stomach. And it gives me a pretty good amount of energy throughout the day. But now, it's 10:30 at night, and I'm BEAT! I feel like someone whooped my ass! Seriously! And yes, that's accurate, because my kids hurt me all day!

I went to kiss Laila yesterday, and she turned her head quickly and somehow my lip got caught in her teeth! How the hell does that happen?! She's 2, she doesn't realize what she did, I'm yelling "Ow! Oh my God!" and checking for blood. She giggled and ran off, not realizing what just happened. Anneka, who's almost 5, came over to see about me. There was no blood. Oh, and this happened last month too...but with Mia! And speaking of Mia, her hands swung around while playing today and slapped me across my face! Again, completely accidental, but DAMN!

I have been head-butted in the nose (thought my nose was broken), busted in the teeth (thought my tooth was knocked out!), knocked down (the twins like to run at me at the same time), kicked, spit on...and that's on top of the typical mommy things I have to deal with! I mean, are these kids conspiring to kill me?? They want mommy in a home before the age of 40? Help!

These twins are so rough! They're girls, 2 1/2, adorable, real girly when it comes to dresses and shoes and playing with dolls...Mia cries if you don't put a dress on her! But then they're like 2 little boys...knocking into me, throwing things, climbing on things. And they're really good kids...they'll stop if you tell them to, they don't mettle with everything in the house, they don't intentionally hit and fight...no real tantrums...they're just rough and tumble little girls! Adorable...but dangerous!

Aww...I know I complain about them...but I love them so! All three of them make my life so much more awesome. My Ani, Mia, Laila! Totally in love with my Googlies...lol

L.A. Soon Enough

So we're not moving until January...which sucks and blows...and makes more sense at the same time. I know it makes more sense to wait until after the holidays, especially considering Anneka turns 5 on Dec. 19th. I really thought we'd be in L.A. Dec. 1st, and we could celebrate her birthday there with my best friend Jontynise and her two kids. This really kinda sucks. I'm trying to look on the bright side of things, by taking an acting workshop or two while I'm still here so when I get out there, I can show the manager I'm going to sign with that I'm on top of things. I'm also going to do two more episodes of "Local Couple Wins Lottery" and do these one-on-one sessions with Jenny Lamb, my acting teacher from Second City. I have a lot to keep me busy over the next month, but keep in mind, soon snow will come and I'll be annoyed. A little over a week ago, I was in L.A. with peep toe heels and a tank top with leggings. That snizz ain't happening here!

I guess I just have to friggin' focus. I'll be in L.A. soon enough. When I get there, I'm going to start work on a new web series, starring my bestie Jontynise Smith! I'll be co-starring in it as her older sister, a stand-up comedian. She plays a young woman who is newly divorced, but is falling in love with a guy who lives in her building and her sister is trying to talk her out of going straight from a marriage to a relationship. It's called "With Haste". I've only written episode ideas, no actual scripts yet. That's soon to come. I'm trying to figure out if I'll sign a SAG agreement, because then it'll make Jontynise SAG eligible, and I'm already SAG eligible, so I have to figure that out.

By the way, today I met a chick at my local Starbucks who looked like an actress! She was actress gorgeous! I gave her my card, telling her I was a producer. I think it sounded weird. Hope she didn't think I was trying to pick up on her...I didn't tell her she was gorgeous! I just told her she looked like an actress! I was with Bry anyway...unless she thought we were one of those swinging couples! OMG...

You know you love me...
xoxo
Angelina Grace

(all you Gossip Girl fans will get why I just signed this like that...haha!)

On cable, you can say the word 'shit'!

Halloween was so much fun with my girls. We went around the neighborhood, with the girls dressed as Lalaloopsy dolls! The older people didn't get it, seeing as how they're relatively new dolls, but the younger kids got it! They only released 3 different costumes, so having 3 daughters worked out well, huh? Funnier yet, yes, I collect the Lalaloopsy dolls myself, and Mia has one doll, Laila has one doll, Ani has 3, and I have 5! That's sad, isn't it? I should probably stop writing this. I should probably delete that. Ah, fuck it!

So I'll be in L.A. in a little over a week to find an apartment! Did I mention I've never been to L.A.?? I've seriously been obsessed with the idea of moving out there since I was a teenager! Actually, maybe even before that! Remember the movie "My Girl 2", when Vada went out to L.A. to stay with her uncle from the first one so she could find out more about her mother, who died during childbirth? Yeah, I'm pretty sure very few people remember that film. Anyway, I think that movie may have started my obsession with L.A. I have odd things that inspired me. I first decided to write a film because of an episode of "Degrassi"...yes, the original show. The episode where Lucy made a horror film for a class project. I then wrote my own. True story. Stop judging me!

Anyway, I'm going out there with a brand-new written pilot episode for "Local Couple Wins Lottery"! I wrote a whole 22-minute episode that I want to shop around to networks. I'm hoping for ABC, but I would really love a cable network. On cable, you can say the word "shit". No lie.

So I'm going to meet with my cast before I go to L.A., let them know what's going on and make sure everyone is still down, though they've already told me they are. Oh! I also edited all 4 parts together for a film festival! I just submitted it, and I won't know their decision until Dec. 15th...biting my nails!

And if you haven't already, visit my Youtube channel so you can watch all 4 episodes! And watch my short snippet of a song I've been working on with Bry called "Stupid Fucking Heart"! I'm going to go work on it again after I put Ani to bed. Since the girls share a room, I put the twins to bed first, then Ani goes to bed about half an hour later, after the twins are asleep. If I put them all to bed at the same time, Ani keeps them up. It's frustrating. But it works for now. This totally won't be a problem when I have a Hollywood Hills home. For realsies. Ani needs her own bedroom.

Laters!

A Temporary Lack of Focus

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me lately. I've been seriously lacking focus, which is funny because I'm always telling other people to focus!

And then the last few days, I've been feeling overly tired and light-headed. I don't know what the deal is with that, but I made myself a doctor's appointment just to make sure I'm all good before I fly to L.A. on November 12th. It would suck to be feeling this way while on the way to, or while in L.A. I'm going there to get a lot done in a small amount of time, so I need to be feeling a-ok!

With the lacking of focus, I think I've been trying to do too much, so it feels like I'm just bouncing all over the place. I'm starting to think I don't have time to actually do any real work while still here in Chicago. I only have a month before we move to L.A. and there is so much to do. I'm trying to find an apartment, looking online, calling places, and then trying to pack while my daughters keep throwing toys in the boxes I put together for packing! It's frustrating! Can I put them in daycare just so I can pack?!

But, thank God, my aunt will be here this weekend, so I kinda get a break. Yes, I have to make breakfast for one more person this weekend, but she usually buys dinner from a restaurant, so that's a total score! And on top of that, I can go "I'm going to the mall to look at shoes, do you mind watching the kids for a few hours?" and she goes "That's fine". Score!

But all I've been thinking about is, "what am I going to do once I get to L.A.?" The talent manager I'm meeting  with, Michele, thinks I should try to get myself some acting work to put more on my resume, and get into a good acting class, like the Margie Haber studio. I just can't wait to get there! There are a bunch of options. It's literally been keeping me up at night, all of the things that are going on right now. Yoga and meditation before bed? Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I shall try that tonight! It's worked before, so I'll try it again.

Laters.

I can join SAG now!!!

So I found out a few days ago that I am now eligible to join the Screen Actors Guild! It's amazing, considering that I've been out there, working on and off as an actress since I was 16! It feels so amazing to say that I can join, as soon as I have the $2277!

But in the meantime, I'm taking "Local Couple Wins Lottery" to the festivals! I'm actually entering it into a festival in the next few days, and then all of us will get IMDB credit for it, and  hopefully get chosen by the festival for screening!

I've been so busy, with packing and editing and looking up fests, and trying to figure out what acting school I'm going to in L.A. Oh, and of course, apartment hunting online! So I fly to L.A. on November 12th and I'll be staying with the bestie, Jontynise, the whole time I'm there. I already have a meeting with a talent manager, who is also interested in signing my 3 lovely daughters. She thinks she can get them a decent amount of work out there. Especially the twins, because twins are in such high demand because they can get more done with 2 kids working at different times. One 2 year old can only work so long, legally.

I just can't help but to think about the possibilities...living in L.A., writing and producing my own stuff. It's really starting to hit me that all of this is going on! And I'm too excited! And I've been so driven lately! I even wrote a song the other night...with the help of Bry, but I wrote the lyrics and came up with a melody, and he started playing on his guitar, and I was able to match the melody on my guitar. What's interesting is, I don't regularly play guitar! I have an acoustic guitar, a good one, that I barely play. Hell, my daughters play my guitar more than I do! It's just this creative energy around me...the energy of hopes and dreams coming to fruition...that shit is gold. Wish I could bottle it!

Afraid to Fly

I'm tired and trying to work. Lately, I think I always feel sleepy. Perhaps not enough coffee? Probably not. I am super busy, that's part of it. Even when I'm not filming the web series, I'm at home working on it WHILE trying to take care of 3 kids WHILE Bry is at work. It's exhausting! Any supermommy knows that! I don't understand how single moms do it! I love that moment when Bry texts me "I'm on my way home"! That's when I breathe a sigh of relief, cause I know I can go eat, watch tv or take a nap. During the day, it's all about Elmo and Dora. lol

I'm planning a trip to L.A. to look at apartments and meet with this talent manager who may want to sign me and the girls. It's nerve-wrecking, especially because I feel so close to all I ever dreamed of. My mother said she knew I would be famous someday, but seriously, this is the first time in my life I actually feel confident that I can do all of this. My extra drive probably has a lot to do with the kids. I mean, I went to film school before I had babies, but I always strayed from my path. I got side-tracked very easily. When I met Bry, I started ditching school! That was stupid! I could've had my degree! And it's not like he was telling me to ditch school...but anyway, I'm just glad I'm finally on track and that's where I'm going to stay.

But...there's one small, tiny, tinsey little issue...I'm afraid to fly! Yes, I have flown before, but I was 15! I have not flown since September 11th! The last time I flew, it was 1996! I went to Disney World with my mom, mom's best friend and her daughter, my best friend, and her little brother. It was more exciting than scary. I've seen way more since then! Not only Sept.11th, but I watch Inside Edition every day! That show teaches me that anything that can happen, will happen, and it will happen to me! Not to diss the show, because I am addicted to it, but it really does make me more fearful of everything. Perhaps I shouldn't watch it anymore?!

Also, I  have way more of a reason to live now! I have 3 daughters! The idea of doing something risky and end up dying and not being around for them, that's what scares me shitless! And...being away from them for 4 days? How in the hell am I going to live without them for that long?? I'm so driven, I'm not going to talk myself out of it. I'm not going to go 'I'm scared, I'm not going to L.A.', but geez, it's gonna be hard!

Okay, back to editing Episode 4! I just needed to vent!