Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Blame TV

I just had an epiphany...I haven't been laughing a whole lot. Let me start off by saying I'm a goof. I literally laugh at damn near anything. I got into trouble a lot back in school because I was "disruptive" or whatever because anything someone said that was even remotely funny, I'd laugh hysterically! In improv class at Second City and iO, I'd laugh hysterically at everything, which was probably disruptive at times.

Now I'm not sad or depressed or anything. I don't know...maybe a little, who knows. I don't feel depressed, but I do think I haven't been laughing enough. I could blame SNL just a little. I couldn't even finish the episode hosted by Anna Kendrick. It was so unfunny. I was also quite disappointed by the Charlize Theron episode. The Andrew Garfield episode was the funniest this season, truly. I actually laughed at that one. I also blame Mike & Molly for not being funny anymore.

I also blame Key & Peele for being on hiatus! But really, truly, it's my fault. I haven't been going to comedy shows. When tv is bad, I should go to comedy clubs. There's no excuse. I live near 50,000 comedy clubs here in Los Angeles! I could go see some of the best comics in the business on a regular basis! I also haven't been performing, which would be healthy for me.

Key & Peele

One could say that perhaps I've grown up in the past 2 months. Perhaps I'm no longer a goof. Well that just sounds sad. I love being a goof. Getting into trouble in elementary school for laughing was who I was and who I am. One time, back in high school, a friend and I went on a college tour. While we were touring the library, the tour guide introduced herself with a totally stupid last name. We chuckled! We tried to hold it back, God we tried, but in the end, we had to leave the library. That's who I am! I laugh at poop jokes! I come out of the bathroom and go "Coming out feeling about 10 pounds lighter!", even if I was just in there to wash my hands! (Thank you to Martin for that one)


Maybe I just need to get back to my roots. Who I am as a person is a goof. I never want to take myself too seriously. So as a self-diagnostician, I plan to fix this. I will watch the 8 unwatched episodes of The Middle on my DVR, I'm going to watch some old SNL sketches on Hulu, I'm busting out my Clone High, Stella and Sarah Silverman Program DVDs.

Stella...still waiting for a second season!

The Sarah Silverman Program

And maybe we should all blame network tv for our sadness. Be funnier! And stop cancelling funny shows (Hello, The Crazy Ones?! Are you fucking kidding me? And I swear to God, if they cancel Undateable after 2 episodes, I'm gonna be shitting on someone's doorstep!)

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Things I'm Obsessed With Right Now...May '14

May has just begun, so I know you're like "How can these be the things you're obsessed with for the month of May when it's only the 7th day of the month? I was just putting the date on here. It's May. Got it?

These are obviously things (or people) I'm obsessed with in this moment. I reserve the right to change my mind and not be obsessed with these things later in May if I so choose. Got it? So let's get started...


Okay, I was obsessed with Vine back when it first began. Then I stopped being so obsessed with Vine. I got to a point where I was only going on the app to see what new thing Chris D'elia or Will Sasso posted. And then Will was only doing those Corey Vines and Arnold Schwarzenegger driving. And then he stopped using the app altogether! So now, I mostly go to Vine to post my own cute or funny videos (mostly cute cause they're mostly of my own kids, haha!) or to check out what the cute kids of the band Eisley are doing. You know the story...5 members of Eisley, 3 sisters, a brother and a cousin. The sisters and the brother all had babies with the respective spouses around the same time. And their kids are cuuuuuutttteee! Yes, looking at their kids make me want to have another baby, but then I change my mind the moment I remember diapers, bottles, poop, etc! So it's okay to look adoringly at other people's babies!

Disney Stuff

I may have always been obsessed with Disney stuff. Who isn't? Well, I'm sure their may be some people who aren't. Recently we went to Disneyland and I almost bought myself Minnie Mouse ears. Which, I guess, doesn't sound too weird if you know me and know who I am. I own cat ear headbands that I wear around like Josie and the Pussycats! I ended up only buying Minnie ears for my daughters. I regret that. Now I have to find some for myself, or just go back to Disneyland, which I don't mind doing! And then I found myself on the Disney Store website adding things to my Amazon wish list, including coffee mugs. I have a pretty good collection of coffee mugs, as I'm an avid coffee and tea drinker. I have Minnie Mouse, Nightmare Before Christmas and Alice and Wonderland mugs. I'd really like Tinkerbell and Cinderella ones.

Shakira's New Album

I've been in love with Shakira since I was a teenager. No, not like that. I don't dream of her naughty bits, I just adore her as an artist and person! You guys with your nasty minds! Geez! When I was younger, I was crazy about Selena. Even after her death, I played her music, sang along and dance. She's probably the reason I was thin for so long! Then one day, while watching Telehit on Telemundo, I saw this video called "Inevitable" by some gorgeous, long haired beauty named Shakira. I was obsessed! Selena, Shakira, Fey, Juanes, Elvis Crespo, Noelia, JD Natasha, all of these Latin pop stars are the reasons I really learned Spanish. Not my Spanish teachers, Latin pop stars! So, thank you to them! Oh, and Ricky Martin and Enrique Iglesias, mostly their Spanish-language music.


Now Shakira's new album sounds a lot like old Shakira. It's kind of a mixture of "Pies Descalzos" and "Donde Estan Los Ladrones", just in English. I really love "Dare" and "You Don't Care About Me". My kids even know the lyrics!


Duolingo is an app I have on my iphone that's helping me brush up on my Spanish (so I can finally say I'm fluent) and learn French at the same time. I've been mixing the two up! Also, my French accent isn't great! It asks you to repeat a phrase in French and it uses the microphone to record you. Yeah, it tells me it's not right...often. My cousin Kecia has offered to help me. My aunt asked me why am I learning French. Okay, first of all, I had an IQ test as a kid and supposedly I'm some smartypants or something. I'm not sure I trust IQ tests, but I'd like to see what my brain is capable of. See there? If I'm so smart, why did I just end a sentence with a preposition? Also, I think it'd be cool to be able to say I speak 3 languages. Oh, also my favorite poet Arthur Rimbaud is French. I'd love to read his poetry in its truest form to interpret it myself. I have this dream of one day going to Paris and just being able to fit in, speaking the language.


Sunday, May 4, 2014

Cut Back On Stuff

My laptop isn't working right, which makes it really hard to write. I've been so bored, you guys. So, so, so bored! And yes, I write on my iPhone, but after a while, your thumbs start to hurt! I'm going to end up with carpal-tunnel syndrome from trying to type stuff up while out. So right now, I'm blogging from an iPad, which is weird, to say the least.

I wish I had more of an update. All I have are ideas right now and trying to figure out ways to execute them. If anyone asks what I'm doing with my time, besides being a wife and mother, I'm taking time to think. Yes, I'm aware how that sounds. The last time I took time off to "think", I ended up dropping out of college. I'm not dropping out of anything and I'm not depressed again. What I need is a job. A lot of opportunities are coming my way but none of them pay. So yeah, that's particularly what I'm thinking about. How do I get paid? Our rent is about to go up and we're just going to have to cut back on stuff. Or you'll see me at your local Starbucks making lattes and shizz.

But I'm very optimistic and I have a few ideas up my sleeve, so you never know!

By the way, Bry is working on my laptop right now. Fingers crossed!