Thursday, October 24, 2013

Very L.A. things

So I'm so excited my aunt is coming back to visit in November. She's coming for Thanksgiving and staying about 10 days. Not only am I excited because I love my aunt, miss her, blah blah blah...this means FREE BABYSITTER! Don't tell her I said that...

I'm sick of doing stuff by myself. The first time I went to a comedy club was by myself, and I went to see Chris D'elia, and I was so nervous about being in the same room as him. I was fangirling like crazy over some Chris D'elia, you don't even know. He's the reason I finally got off my ass and started doing stand-up! I owe him, for real. So my aunt was in town, Bry and I got to go see Chris together, and then I got up the nerve to actually talk to Chris! I met him, hugged him, took a picture with him! The third time I saw Chris live, Bry and I met him and talked to him for a while on the sidewalk outside of the Laugh Factory. What a great night that was. So I'm looking forward to some nights of doing totally L.A. things with my husband. Fancy dinners, schmoozing, giggling about condoms in a Rite Aid at midnight. Yes, we're that immature.

I'm also going to try to book some more stand-up gigs around that time. Who's coming out to see me??

Later guys.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Too Much for this Time of Night

So I've been fighting myself. I've been trying to make myself be more honest. What's the point in writing anything if it's not your own honest truth?

Yeah, so I'm sick...I have this bad chest cold that's kinda slowing me down. It's probably because I've been doing so much and not sleeping enough. I haven't really been this sick in a while. Well, I have this habit of being hurt by people, then forgiving them when they don't deserve to be forgiven, then I'm back in this cycle of "OMG, I really let you do this to me again". Whether it's my mother, my brother or my ex-best friend, I set myself up for getting hurt. What do they say about people who don't learn from their mistakes?

Then I don't share things, afraid to be labeled as petty or immature. I hold things in. And I didn't used to be like that, it's just I can't allow myself to dwell in things now. I have kids. I have a husband. I have a career. I have to keep my mind away from bullshit.

And I don't want to make this some long, sad, depressing bullshit. I haven't been depressed in a long time, mostly because things are going well. This has been the best year of my life. For those of you who don't know me that well or just started reading my stuff either on here or HelloGiggles, or follow my Tumblr, I used to be very depressed. I spent most of my childhood depressed. I was a little kid and my brother had what they called "an emotional problem". I was a little kid sitting under a table with my doll, sucking my thumb, while my brother yelled at, hit and threw things at my mom. I was left alone in my bedroom to deal with my own emotions.

My mother now no longer speaks to me after staying with me for 3 weeks in December and we got into it big time. I spent most of those 3 weeks not saying anything to her criticisms, her name-calling, her lack of respect for me in front of my husband and children or starting arguments between my husband and I. She left for Chicago without saying good-bye. This is the mother who said that if I get famous and write a book about her, she'd sue me.

I was a crazy teen, so they said. I cut. I attempted suicide. I spent 4 days in a mental hospital. I had a psych evaluation, and the doctor said all of the stuff that has been put on me was the reason for my sadness, and I didn't need to be on medication. And you know what, I was fine.

Living here in Los Angeles, with 3 little girls, every day I feel lucky. I wouldn't give this shit up for the world. This has been the best year of my life, for real. I got to meet some amazing people, some who were genuine and real. I've made some great friends in my improv classes, through other friends and even through Facebook. I met some of my heroes this year. I get to go to Malibu and put my feet in the Pacific Ocean any time I want.

My husband and I had issues. Some of them might have been due to our situation. But I can honestly say I haven't been happier. He's a good man with a great heart and the best father for my kids.

So when I hear that an ex-friend or my brother or my mother have said this or that about me, it really doesn't bother anymore. Earlier this year, I cried any time someone brought up my mother to me. I did that whole "Why doesn't she love me" crap that, I guess, a 32 year old woman shouldn't be crying about.

And this isn't a sad post. I'm not sad, though I'm sick and drinking tea right now while my husband strums the guitar on the couch next to me. After this, I'm going to work on some new jokes for my next stand-up gig. I just felt the need to be honest. To speak. To tell my own truth. And I really don't care if my mom reads this and gets angry at me again. And for those who are all "respect your mother" blah blah blah...I did. I used to. And my children will respect me not only because I'm their mother, but because I deserve respect because I love them unconditionally.

And to the old friend who's dogging me, calling me fat and everything's cool. I'm here, I'm making waves, I'm doing my thing and you can't take that away from me. I'm 32, this isn't high school. Most importantly...I'm here. You're there. This is my everything. And I'm more motivated that ever.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Things I'm Obsessed with Right Now- October 2013

Okay, I did this list before and it got a lot of attention, so since I'm an attention-whore (not really...okay...really), I figured I should do this again. Let's get started...

1. Studio City

Okay, maybe I'm just a little celeb-enthused. I refuse to say "obsessed" because I seriously don't put much effort into meeting celebrities. I really don't. I go fun places with the husband and kids and run into them. I'm not Stalker Sarah, though I know her and like her. I usually run into celebrities at random places, like grocery stores and coffee shops. It's frickin' Hollywood for crap's sake! It's really not that hard! The only difference is, I have the balls to go up to a celebrity and ask them for their picture. No one has ever told me no, and then I usually have a really nice conversation with them. Every time I go to Studio City, usually to take the girls to their favorite bookstore or this kickass Farmer's Market, we run into somebody famous. Not our faults. We've now run into Ariel Winter, you know, Alex Dunphy from the hit tv show Modern Family. She's so nice and cool. I know her older sister now.

My picture, obviously.

And it's not about celebrity, because I couldn't say that I'd ask just anybody for a picture or talk to them just because they're famous. I like meeting incredible people who I admire for some reason or another. I love Modern Family! It's one of my favorite shows, that's why it's so cool to know Ariel and her sister Shanelle. Also, this past weekend, after running into them again and talking with them, my family ended up in some paparazzi pics on Just Jared Jr. and Perez Hilton. I'm not posting them because you can barely see us, standing next to Ariel. You see my back and back while Ariel is talking to me...and Laila's back...and Laila's bangs in one...and my husband's hat in another. Not really worth posting...well, okay...

My back and Trader Joe's bag. Pretty neat, huh? We were talking.

If you look to the right of this pic, you can see Laila's bangs (or Mia's, who knows, they look the same) and the top of Bry's hat! 

And in the bottom right corner, Laila. I think. Or Mia. Laila? Whatever. It's one of my twins!

2. This Damn Water Bottle!

I got it from Target for like $22. It keeps your water cold for 24 hours! Seriously! I fill it up at night, and since I have Hypothyroidism, I have to take my Synthroid medicine first thing in the morning, before I eat or anything, so I can just get up, take my pill, and then go back to bed if I want to. It's awesome! I take it almost everywhere with me. I even got hubby one too! I'm aware that I'm a little too excited about a damn water bottle...

You can also buy it at Amazon here.

3. HelloGiggles

Okay, I swear this isn't a plug! Yes, I write for the site, but I honestly love it! I swear, there is an article for almost every aspect of my life. When I'm bored or need inspiration, I go read other people's articles. I just read an article about Lasik surgery, because I'm considering getting it done. Seriously, it kind of eased my mind! Here's a link to that article:

And for the shameless self-promotion. I wrote an article about The Wizard of Oz entitled "5 Reasons The Wizard of Oz is Still Damn Good" and it's now my most read article! It had over 3200 likes on Facebook! Mostly due to the fact that Zooey Deschanel, one of the HelloGiggles founders, shared the link on her official Facebook page. That was exciting! And they just posted my interview with Tia Mowry-Hardrict today, which Tia retweeted on Twitter. I love that site. And I love Molly McAleer for asking me to be a part of it! You can read about that too.

4. Tumblr

No disrespect to Blogger or Wordpress, but Tumblr is just so interesting! Yeah, there's a lot of sick stuff on there, like, seriously sick, but where else can I see gifs of Bastille videos I've already seen? Where else can I see pictures of pink houses and closeups of donuts? Hmmm...I'm not giving very convincing reasons of why Tumblr is so great, am I? It's also great for promotion...and stalking Bastille.

Did I say stalking? I meant admiring...

5. Luis Bunuel

Okay, I promise I'm not pretentious. I'm just an ex-film school geek who writes screenplays that are nothing like the films I love. I really need to re-write some scripts! So, lately, I've fallen in love with Luis Bunuel. I first heard of him because he was portrayed in "Midnight in Paris", one of my favorite films of all time. The film "The Exterminating Angel" was mentioned in it. In the film, a group of rich friends come from a play and go to one of their mansion's to have dinner. After dinner, no one seems to be able to leave the room! They all keep coming up with excuses not to leave. The next morning, they begin to realize that they cannot leave the damn room, let alone the house! They go to the threshold of the room, and turn around! People die. They're starving. They have no water. They stink. They can't leave the room! It's psychological! There's no door or wall holding them space! But they can't leave the room! Look him up! He made other great films too that I'm going to buy and watch this week. I'm obsessed!

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