Saturday, March 31, 2012

A poem based on a film I'm writing...

This is a poem I wrote based on a screenplay I'm writing entitled "Hello Again". I'm afraid to talk too much about it, fearing someone will steal the idea, but it is about reincarnation and past lives. I just just wrote this, so I don't even have a title yet? Suggestions??

I've dreamt of lights in the sky
On fire and blazing
So beautifully, burning bright
As I did that day staring into the sun
Why do you seem so sad?
As if wishes were meaningless
You've dreamt too
Staring at the sky
Burning bright and full
With my eyes closed,
No roof to my sky
No palace to hide
No shame to set aside
I told you my secrets
You shared yours with me
And I felt myself die
Just a little,
Melting into your arms
And eyes
As I have withered
As I have died
I'm full of dramatics
I'm full of lies
But never once did I cry
Or once did I die
Or once did I lie
While staring into your eyes.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Be Strong for her...

Okay, so I'm usually afraid to drive anywhere. Like, seriously, I was afraid to drive a mile away to the grocery store the other day! I was even afraid to drive 2 miles to the nearest Target...which I ended up not doing. So, what's the deal, you might say? A 31 year old woman afraid to drive ridiculous does that sound? I mean, maybe it does sound a little weird, especially considering I'm not a new new driver. I got my license in 2008, so that's long enough to have shaken off any driving jitters, right? I mean, most of the time, I only drove a short distance, around the southwest suburbs of Chicago. I only went out in the morning time or late evening, really. I rarely went out when there was heavy traffic. So why am I afraid to drive?

It's the probability thing. The more you do something, there's more of a chance of it going wrong at some point, right? I don't even want to talk up on things, but I have to shake this shit off! I came to Los Angeles to WORK! Not to sit in the house and overly worry about if something is too far to drive to. And both my husband and best friend drive EVERYWHERE! They've driven across state line, gone on road trips, had to drive very fucking far for work. When is their tenacity going to rub off on me?! Maybe perhaps it's because my mom doesn't drive and always talked about being too nervous of a driver to pursue getting a license. Maybe because my aunts don't drive also? That's really no excuse. My grandmother drove. My uncle drives. My cousin drives. My brother drives! These are all people who I've always seen driving! I shouldn't be scared.

And I can't be scared. Especially now. Because Anneka, my 5 year old daughter, has a very important audition tomorrow in Hollywood and I have to suck this shit up and be strong for her. It's not even that far from where we live, and I don't even have to take the freeway. So I should shut up and just do it, right?! I shouldn't be afraid of the twins getting motion sickness, because that usually only happens after being in the car a long time and going on the freeway, nonstop. And if they do get motion sickness and throw up, I should come prepared with a change of clothes and towels. They're usually fine right after throwing up anyway. And yes, I'm afraid of parallel parking. I never really had to do that in the suburbs. Tomorrow, I have to find parking on the streets of Hollywood. Am I going to freak out over this?! A little. Yeah, maybe people will stand around and point and laugh, watching me move this big ass minivan back and forth, trying to squeeze into a spot that's probably big enough. But I have to be strong for Anneka. Don't even let her know her mommy is freaked.

And by the way, we got the sides for the audition (that's actor-speak meaning the few lines she has to learn for the audition)...and my baby already has them memorized! What an awesome kid. She's so excited. She drew her talent manager a card. How cute!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Not at that Studio!

Had a tiring day. Took the kids to Albertsons to get some food. We were completely out of milk and juice as of this morning! I love that we're not that far from any store, especially grocery stores. Just a quick drive away. I got everyone in the house, got them lunch, then came and laid down on the couch while they were laying down in their room. And by laying down, I mean they were supposed to, but instead were up playing around and giggling loudly. I yelled once or twice "get back in bed!" but whatever. They didn't listen. But at least I got some quiet time on the couch, until Bry started calling and texting me. He wanted to get on Skype and see us, so I got the girls out of the room so they can see their dad on the computer. Skype is a really good thing because it's keeping us from missing him too much. He may not be here physically, but his presence is. That's definitely good.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a talent manager. It's mostly for the girls. Ani keeps saying "I want to dance on a stage". She saw a small part of the show "Dance Moms" yesterday and now she's sure she wants to go take dance classes. I said "Not at that studio!" Haha!



Sunday, March 25, 2012

I Haven't Seen the Ocean Yet

It's been a rough week, with Bry in Chicago and me in L.A. with the kids. Then on top of that, the twins locked themselves in their bedroom last night at bed time. Talk about panic for a minute there! I was able to talk them into just turning knob and opening it, but right after that I taped the part that goes into the wall! I will be replacing those doorknobs this week! First, I have to find a hardware store...or a Home Depot.

I've had time to work on some things, though I haven't been sleeping really well without him. You have to understand, though we've had our problems in the past, this is someone I spend a shitload of time with. I'm not just afraid to be on my own with 3 kids, especially in California, far away from family, I just really miss him. He and I spend time joking around and watching t.v. and even cleaning with him can be fun.

But whatever, I'm okay, trying not to overthink things, and he'll be home sooner than I know it. I have a very important business dinner this Tuesday night. Kinda nervous about it, though I've met with this person before. It's a talent manager who is interested in signing the girls, and perhaps me. So we'll see how this goes.

Ani is bugging me right now, playing Angry Birds on my Kindle while she awaits her bedtime. I send the twins to bed first, then Ani 30 minutes later. If I send all three to bed at the same time, silliness ensues. They get a little overexcited being around their big sister sometimes.

Other than the stress of being away from my husband of 7 years, I've enjoyed living here. The sun shines so bright, the people are so friendly, and I'm loving walking the girls to the playground. It's such a nice, safe, clean neighborhood. I can't wait until Bry gets back and we can go out exploring! I haven't seen the ocean yet!!!

Monday, March 19, 2012

A Really Nice Place with a Great View

It's kinda hard moving across the country, getting things in order, finding your way around a new city, and being sick all week. I believe I got sick first, just a sore throat and stopped up nose. Then, going through Hollywood in my best friends' car, on the way back, Mia throws up, then is running a fever. Then Laila threw up in our van a few days later. Now Bry is sick. And it's chilly in L.A. right now! Oh, and it's warm as crap in Chicago right now! Talk about luck...

But we got all of our stuff, we went to Ikea and Target and got a new dresser, bookshelves, hangers, etc. and Bry has been putting stuff together. It's a really nice place with a great view!

Oh, and did I mention Bry has to go back to Chicago temporarily?! Yeah, it's making me all suicide-y.
I'm not going to dwell on that right now. We're watching "Breaking Bad", which is an amazing show! Laters.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Sick or Not

Listening to Eisley's "Lights Out" while nursing this 100.3 degree temperature. Worst yet, Mia threw up in Jontynise's car this afternoon. Yeah. Thank God I saw it coming and said to Bry "Put that sweater on her lap". And she got it on her bunny. That was messed up. So we watched her play and act silly all afternoon, after that and then right before bed, after turning down most of her dinner, was running a fever of 100.5. Great, right? We've been in L.A. for 3 days, 3 days! And guess what, me and one of the twins are sick! It's okay, though. I packed smart and had the Children's Advil in my bag that I checked...and some ibuprofen for me.

But I checked Mia a little while ago, and her temp was 98.4, and she hasn't thrown up again (knock on friggin' wood). What's cool is that my family saw the Hollywood sign today, and the Walk of Fame! The twins had fallen asleep, but Ani saw it, and we went through the hills, and it was amazing!

I'm so glad to be here! Jontynise and her kids are over and we're sitting in my dining room on the rug, sans all of our furniture (it'll be here in a few days), and we're talking about everything. We've talked about filming a new web series that I wrote, and going on adventures! We have this idea of just hopping a bus in L.A. and just seeing where it goes, and you find new places!

So much to do here. It still seems too damn good to be true. And this amazing view.

And Bry and Jontynise are having this conversation and he makes a joke saying "I fart on your crap!" I'm not sure what the hell he's talking about, but I'm laughing my ass off!

Okay,  I'm going to bed. I sickity. Eisley is making me feel better. I feel so blessed right now. Sick or not., if you read this before I call you in the morning...don't freak out! Me, the girls and Bry are just fine! Lol

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Because now...I live in L.A.!

The view out of my living room window!

I live in L.A.! It's about time, right?! How long have I been blogging about and tweeting about moving here? We finally did it yesterday! It was a long flight, with 3 kids...a flight we almost missed...I mean, we had to literally run to the gate, and were the last people on the plane! People were complaining! Then we couldn't all find seats together! It was a horrific experience, but we figured it out, and after all of the worrying about if the girls would freak out being on a plane for the first time, my girls actually found it exciting! And the 4 hour trip really wasn't that bad considering they had a movie to watch, they had Leapsters, which is this hand-held learning game, and they had snacks. The twins even took a nap! And then Ani took a nap in the cab on the way home from LAX. It was dark by the time we got to our new neighborhood, so things didn't get really real until this morning when I woke up with all of this sunlight in my windows and seeing the houses on the hills around us.

The other great thing is being this close to my best friend, who now lives 7 minutes away, as opposed to when we lived in Chicago and she lived in the northwest suburbs and I lived in the southwest suburbs. It was a pretty long drive!

Anyway, I'm tired from the move, the flight, the agitation of all of this, but guess what?! It was so worth it! Because now...I live in L.A.!!!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Things are getting really real

Sitting here on my couch, surrounded by boxes, watching "Entourage" and charging my video camera right next to me...things are getting real. Things are getting really real. Seriously, I've wanted to move to L.A. since I was a little girl, maybe early teens, and now it's really happening. And yes, I've been stressed and worried about all the things that could possibly go wrong, but I think I'm going to be okay. I will be okay once that plane touches down at LAX, and we're there, safe and sound, in the California sun! How long before Anneka starts harassing us to go to the beach, I wonder...or the playground! I might take them to the playground that day because they haven't been able to go in so long! And there is a playground down the street from our new place!

My mother is having a going-away party for us on Sunday. My cousin took the day off work to drive us to Midway. I really will miss my family. It's going to suck because everyone was just a short car drive they're a  $100-$200 plane ride away. I'll get used to it, and I'm sure people will fly out, and we will fly back perhaps for a major holiday or two.

Also, I started writing a screenplay this week, that I'm currently totally obsessing over. I've been writing notes, wrote an outline, and telling Bry every idea I have for the movie. He's been giving me feedback like crazy. It's a fantasy film about dreams and past lives, but it's also a comedy and romance. I want to star in it with Adrian Grenier and I want Edgar Wright (Scott Pilgrim vs the World, Shaun of the Dead) to direct. I've been tweeting at him, but no response. Once I'm done with the script, I'm going to start stalking at him. Okay, that's all I'm going to say on this. I feel weird showing my hand!

Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be up and packing and cleaning and feeding the girls breakfast. Going to go wash some strawberries!

Later gators.