Strange Dreams

I've been having really strange dreams. Let me start with last night...

It was my birthday (my birthday is in Feb, actually), and I was having this big blow-out party in a fancy hotel. There were waiters with serving trays, lots of champagne, and rich people dressed fancy, ball gowns and tuxedos. Don't ask me why, but my husband and kids weren't there. Actually, no one I actually knew was there. The place was filled with celebrities and no-face supposed rich people. I guess I knew them all, as they kept telling me "Happy Birthday" and offering me champagne. Then Gwen Stefani showed up. For some reason, she had on a track suit, said she couldn't stay long, but she had to come see "Her Girl Angie". I remember the track suit was black and, of course, she had on her bright red lipstick. At the end of the night, I guess I'd had too much to drink and then Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian, who was pregnant because she always is, offered to drive me home. Hmmm....what the actual fuck?!

Then I have this reoccurring dream. It's really weird. It takes place in this huge apartment that has 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 kitchens and 2 living rooms. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. But then, for some reason, we decide we don't want the entire place (maybe we can't afford it??), and we rent out half of the apartment to some single guy. Here's the thing...we can get into his part of the apartment very easily by opening a door, that leads to his living room, kitchen, bedroom, etc.

I had a really weird one night before last! I guess I was younger, and I was living at home in my old apartment with my mother and brother on South Essex, back on the east side of Chicago. My brother brought one of his friends over, and it was the comedian Chris D'elia! Now, in the dream, he wasn't the face actor/comedian Chris D'elia. He was just my brother's cute friend, and I was crushing on him hard. And then he said something to me, and I remember getting butterflies.

Here's the thing: I tried this "Lucid Dreaming" self-hypnosis thing. It's in an app on my phone, and maybe it sounds goofy to some, but I thought "Hey, what the hell". I wrote a movie called "Hello Again" 2 years ago about a young woman who's depressed and starts sleeping all the time because her dreams are better than her reality. In the dream, she realizes she's having a dream, and reads up on how to control the dream. It's based on a long time ago when I had this dream where I was walking down the street of my apartment building that I lived in with my mother and brother, again, the apartment on Essex. All of a sudden, the street turns into a river of blood and I run into the apartment building, and it's still so vivid considering this dream was years ago. I run into the apartment and see my brother, who's in a panic. I say to him "Gene! This is a dream! We're in a dream!" and he yells "I know! Angie! Wake yourself up!" and I say "I can't!" and he begins to shake me. I then woke up. It's sooo weird that I can remember dreams from years ago. My mother used to think I was making these things up, saying I was a great storyteller. She said no one remembers so many details of their dreams.

Truthfully, I don't always remember my dreams. There are nights where I wake up and I know it was a nightmare because I'm scared and shivering, but then can't tell Bry what happened at all, just a few minutes later. Sometimes all I remember is one person who was in the dream. There was a dream a couple of weeks ago that involved Bry and myself in an apartment (not this one) and we were talking. I don't know what we were talking about or any emotions.

I guess I only remember the ones that make me feel something. Bry and I talking is just an everyday occurrence, hence the reason why I basically only remembered the fact that we were in a different apartment.

I'm going to start taking notes of my dreams. The screenplay for "Hello Again" I always thought was lacking. There was something missing and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I think perhaps I needed to research dreams and dream-states more. Investigate this notion of self-hypnosis and training yourself to control your dreams, if that's even possible. Look at me. I sound like I'm doing real scientific research. I'm just trying to get a good movie going.

Later guys.

If My Eyes are all X'ed with it...

Writing sketches and commercial parodies for my Second City writing class.

This class is like a dream to me. Comedy writing is so much fun.

Yes, all of these sentences are incomplete. Well, not that last one. Or that one.

I'm, like, really tired, dude. I don't even know why I'm sitting here trying to update this thingy. I just feel like I have to be writing something, to stay in the habit. Even if the writing is sophomoric and incorrect. Then am I really getting somewhere?

I had someone read my script for "Hello Again". He loved the first 30 pages. It's important to me that he really likes it. He's a real actor. Not like my bullshitty self. And that's not me feeling down or low, because I am quite the opposite. I just know that I spend more time writing than acting. But in my defense, I was in a play...2 months ago!

I created some new characters for myself. Lisa and I are talking about filming each other's sketches. She actually finished the Second City writing program so her opinion is important to me. And she's talking about directing my film. Now if real actor boy really wants to do it, then I'm finding funding fast! I will do what my girl Tiffanie Debartolo did and keep trying to someone wants to make this damn thing! And I promise, it's a really good script. It really is. I did actual research while writing it. Now if real actor boy reads the whole thing, loves it, says he has to play the part, I might die over...x's for fucking eyes. But what will that do? Can't make the film if my eyes are all x'ed with it...

But he said he had already read the first 30 pages and he was totally in. So tell me to stop overthinking it. Us women overthink a lot of things. Plus, I'm a writer. Writers overthink things. Plus, I think I'm intelligent, and I'm a dramatic person, so those things on top of those other things makes one huge over-thinker.

Okay, this was longer than I expected. My allergies are itchying at my eyes. I'm blarging to bed. I have to walk Ani to kindergarten in the morning. Still can't believe my baby is old enough to be in real school.

Later gators.

You Better Be a Comedian!

I had a great show last night! We had a pretty big crowd and I think I just vibed off of that and went for it. My lines came out more naturally I think. I loved getting laughs off of the ridiculousness I have to say! I mean, it sticks to the script of "Reservoir Dogs", and I play the Quentin Tarantino role. I start off the play. As soon as the lights go up, I start talking. Now, if you've seen the play, you know what Quentin, as Mr. Brown, says. It's pretty funny. It always gets laughs from the crowd. And then the girls, my castmates, chuckle and adlib and it makes it even funnier!

The problem is, I think I'm really going to miss doing this every Thursday once the show ends. We only have 2 more shows left! Once the show ends, I think I'm going to just concentrate on getting this screenplay made. I need a literary agent! Like, stat!

So today, I'm just spending the day with the girls, watching them play with their Barbie pools my aunt bought them. Oh, and watching "Alvin and the Chipmunks". And stealing kisses. I say to them "Are you mommy's Mia?" and Mia goes "No!", smiling. So I do sad face and then she goes "Yes!", laughing! I do that to all three of them. Each one of them always says no first, then says yes once I do sad face. What funny kids. I tell them they'd better be stand-up comedians! LOL

So Much Reading and Writing

I have an important meeting tomorrow. Too soon for details, just cross your fingers. I'm trying to get this screenplay made and it's consuming me. But in a good way! I think about seeing it on the big screen. I dream about being on the set during the filming. I didn't write a part for myself in this film, but I see the actors I want for the film. I just want the check from selling the screenplay! And, I want producing credit. But whatever, what will be will be. I'll get it made, I'm sure. I'm just hoping I can get the director I want and the actors I want will be just as enthralled. I'm working on it, man!

So I've realized I haven't been updating this thing as much as I used to. Don't fret, I haven't given up my beloved blog. I've just been writing so many other things. I was editing my screenplay "Hello Again", and I've been doing research to make the film better. The film is about dreams and past-lives, so I've been reading a lot. I just finished this book by Brian Weiss called "Only Love is Real". It's about this woman who is going through a tough time and so she goes to him, a psychiatrist, to find out why is she so grief-stricken and sad and can't maintain a good romantic relationship. So she starts going through past-life regression therapy and goes under hypnosis and starts remembering all of these lives where she lost someone close to her, but she doesn't recognize this person in this current life. So meanwhile, this guy comes to therapy for similar reasons and starts having the same past-life memories that the woman is having, though they've never met, never crossed paths! So Dr. Weiss tries to decide if he should tell the other one "Hey, this person is having the same past-life memories that you're having! You were together in all of those past lives!". It's really riveting. And yes, it's a true story!

It's just brought up a lot of new ideas to me, like if I really believe in reincarnation and when your fears have no bearing on your current life. Like, if you're afraid of things for no real reason in this life, it might be a repressed memory from a past life. Either way, the book kept me in suspense. I got it for mother's day from Bry on Sunday and I finished it yesterday, on Tuesday. Yeah, I couldn't put it down!

So that's why I've been neglecting you, dear readers. On top of the wonderful play I'm in, the script that I wrote, the one-woman show I'm writing entitled "Fabulous Audacities" (coming soon!) and taking care of the hubby and kids...I've been away, I'm aware! I'll try to update more often! So much reading and writing...you would think that I'm in school! (which I promise to finish someday for the sake of my kids...that's another blog, though, lol)

Smoochilies!
(say that outloud..go ahead, I'll wait....)

A poem based on a film I'm writing...

This is a poem I wrote based on a screenplay I'm writing entitled "Hello Again". I'm afraid to talk too much about it, fearing someone will steal the idea, but it is about reincarnation and past lives. I just just wrote this, so I don't even have a title yet? Suggestions??

I've dreamt of lights in the sky
On fire and blazing
So beautifully, burning bright
As I did that day staring into the sun
Why do you seem so sad?
As if wishes were meaningless
You've dreamt too
Staring at the sky
Burning bright and full
With my eyes closed,
Wondering
No roof to my sky
No palace to hide
No shame to set aside
I told you my secrets
You shared yours with me
And I felt myself die
Just a little,
Melting into your arms
And eyes
As I have withered
As I have died
I'm full of dramatics
I'm full of lies
But never once did I cry
Or once did I die
Or once did I lie
While staring into your eyes.