Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Worry is a Full-Time Job

So the real apartment searching has begun! Well, actually, I guess it really started in November when I was in L.A. actually going to apartments, but that's when we were supposed to be moving December 1st! Either way, the real REAL apartment searching has begun in L.A. and I have some pretty good choices so far! I called some places and the Bestie Jontynise is going to drop by and see a few of them for us and give us her expert apartment-hunting opinion. (Sidenote: She moves a lot! Lol)

Either way, we are almost there! I spoke with the manager who wants to sign the girls and she wants some new photos of them. Wait until she sees the phones from Anneka's 5th birthday party! She looked some amazing, with her long hair done and this beautiful white dress my aunt/her Godmother got her just for the party! And I have video of the three girls dancing in the living room. They're all so charismatic!

I'm still afraid of what's to come once we get to L.A. My three little girls are so special, and I know I feel that way because I'm their mom, but I'm a little afraid that everyone will see how amazing they are too and I have this fear of losing them. Not in a dramatic way, just losing a little part of them that belonged specifically to me. Does that make sense? It may sound crazy to some, especially considering they are my children and I am in control of whether or not they even have careers at such a young age. I know they like to perform, and I know it could mean they'll have money for college, but if at any point they get overwhelmed, or I get overwhelmed, I will pull them out of acting/modeling whatever.

I mean, I actually enjoy them spending time with their dad on his days off, and I get to go around and do some things I've meaning to do, like shopping or running errands, or even just going in the bedroom to write. But then once Bry goes back to work, I also really enjoy having them back to myself. Watching them play together and get in trouble together. Well, maybe not the get in trouble part, but I really do enjoy time alone with the kiddies. They're so funny and smart and I can't believe I can have real conversations with little kids! It still amazes me! Especially lately since the twins have started speaking practically in full sentences! I can't believe they're only 2! And Anneka and I had a conversation last night about the film "Midnight in Paris". I told her what happens in it, including the fact that Owen Wilson's character got to meet Picasso, and she thought that was cool! Then I told her about Ernest Hemingway. She's only 5!

But I'm not going to let fear rule my life. Or ruin it. What will be will be and I'm learning to shut my mind down after a certain hour each night. I should only worry about "what if's" from 9-5. Worry is indeed a full time job! LOL

1 comment: