Sometimes, life gets so damn crazy, that you have to step back, let go of the anger and the pain and say "what the fuck is really going on here?" Do you also have trouble sometimes stepping out of a situation and seeing what was really going on?
I was mad at a certain somebody for something I thought she did, without a real explanation. Perhaps I jumped to conclusions. There's one thing to constantly accept your family for who they are, but they're your family and that's all there is. No matter where you go, what you do, you don't just dump them because you can't handle them. I haven't spoken to my brother in over a year. Not because I couldn't "handle" him, but because of consistent pain over the years. Someone who is in your life just to upset and hurt, with no real basis. That, I can't handle. But then there are the people who have hurt you, and you've hurt back...how does one grow without acceptance? Running away from every situation can't be the way. I have a friend I haven't spoken to in years, not by my choice, and now that I'm older, I realize that it would be nice to have her around. It would be nice to share my kids with those who had such a major impact on my life growing up. Those people who I think at one time or another genuinely cared about me, and me for them.
This may be just another rambling blog, without enough information to connect the dots, unless you're really close to the situation. My only point may be that, don't jump to conclusions, allow time to heal, and people aren't just "passing scenery" (from that "Foxfire" movie with Angelina Jolie...remember that? That quote was from the first 5 minutes of the film...Hedy Burress is on roller skates in the hallway, the voiceover says that the kids in school are just "passing scenery", something about faces you go pass on your way to a better place, some shit like that) Either way, sorry for the night ramble.
Just thinking about stuff and crap and serious outloud written thoughts. Okay, I'm done! Bye! (exasperatedly)