A Whole Other Excuse

Man, I have had a lot of problems staying motivated to exercise! This is crazy. I mean, I got a gym membership a few days after Christmas in 2010 because I was sick of being unhealthy and overweight and tired all the time. I decided to be a better role model for my girls, also. I was going out in the cold of winter, a few miles away in the van, and having to change once I got there! I had to put on the boots, the scarf, the gloves, the hat, all this snizz, and then get there and take off all of that stuff and change into my workout clothes. I would look in the mirror and go "Mama's gonna be skinny real soon. Bitches will be jealous of me. My mom will ask me if I've been eating." Yeah, that snizz didn't happen.

Instead, I was cursed with a thyroid disorder or disfunction or retardation, whatever, and so it's harder for me to lose weight than a lot of people! Yay for me! And it's not as simple as "I have the fat gene" it's just simply put, I need to take medicine so my body will function properly. I don't go to the doctor like I'm supposed to, mixed with the fact that I don't always take my medicine like I'm supposed to. In other words, yes, I have to try harder to be healthy, but it's completely my own fault if I'm not healthy.

So back to 2010, I was busting my hump, super duper motivated to make it to the gym. I bought a pink lock for the locker room lockers, I bought pretty sports bras, I bought new jogging pants, I went to yoga class...fast forward to 2012...I'm 10 pounds lighter. What?! Huh?! And I go to the doctor two weeks ago, my doctor gives me a blood test, then called me to let me know that my thyroid levels were so off that if I continue down this road of stupidity (my words not hers)...then I am going to end up in a thyroid coma! She was very concerned, telling me to set a timer on my phone to let me know when I should take it. So I've been getting up every morning at 7:30, since then, and taking my medicine, then going back to bed. God! Who knew the human body needed so much maintenance?!

I mean, seriously, I have to be on top of the thyroid problem, take birth control, eat right, drink water, get enough sleep, exercise, shave different parts of my body, remember to lotion my legs, put on lip gloss, and not talk about gross stuff in front of mixed company? It's exhausting! And at the end of the day I'm supposed to not look like a sea beast?!

Okay, enough of that rant. On a serious tip, I've been way too unmotivated to exercise. I bought a yoga dvd last week, and I love yoga, so I'll try to keep on track with that. I have a yoga mat, I can do that in the living room before giving the kids breakfast. But as for my gym membership...I haven't been there at all this year! At...all. Loser much?

But I'm not down in the dumps about it. I do stay busy as of late with the packing and stressing over financial matters. Oh, and watching "Gossip Girl". And depressing movies like "Blue Valentine". But that's a whole other blog about how certain movies can make you suicidal. Nevertheless, I'll get back on track. Especially once I'm in L.A. and can't use the weather as an excuse to not go to the gym. I'll have to come up with a whole other excuse then, huh?

I Went Hollywood Tonight

So I was afraid to fly...did it! I really was. Bry dropped me off at the airport, and I was seriously like "Oh my God...why did I think this was a good idea?" And then I meet this guy, much older than me, who was more afraid to fly than I was! He told me he's flown before, but it's been 25 years. I haven't flown for 15 years, and never by myself. So I'm thinking "maybe I shouldn't be talking to someone who is more afraid than I am..." but then I realized that talking to him actually calmed me down. I was telling him "We're going to be okay...we'll get there safely" and my need to nurture and mommy made me jump into "care" mode. I was able to suck it up and made him feel better. It also helped that the woman sitting next to us was used to flying and it was no big deal to her, but she wasn't laughing at us or anything...I mean, maybe she did later to her friends! I even made that joke to her!

But nonetheless, I made it to L.A. safely and I'm so happy that I didn't chicken out and call off the trip...not that I would have! I made it here, safe and sound, and I'm staying with the best friend person, Jontynise. I've had such an adventure so far, and I've only been here 2 days! I've been all over Hollywood, partially in the valley, and even to Orange County! And, I've been up in the Hollywood Hills! I'll post pictures on here at some point, but in the meantime, you can go to my facebook page: www.facebook.com/angelinascene if you want to see the whole arsenal of my Hollywood trip...so far. I am determined to get closer to the damn Hollywood sign, especially considering that they don't let people touch the sign, from fears of suicides and graffiti, but you can get close enough to get a real clear pic...I wanna do that before I go home.

Meanwhile, I'm missing my 3 babies like crazy! I miss their little chubby cheeks and the way Mia says "yesh" instead of "yes" and the way Laila whines for her BearBear. I miss how Ani talks with her hands like me and asks me questions back to back. I also miss my big ass tv and watching "Gossip Girl" with the incomparable Penn Badgley on Netflix. Oh well. 2 more days. I think Bry really misses me too. He just texted me to say good-night. I miss him too.