Okay, so I'm usually afraid to drive anywhere. Like, seriously, I was afraid to drive a mile away to the grocery store the other day! I was even afraid to drive 2 miles to the nearest Target...which I ended up not doing. So, what's the deal, you might say? A 31 year old woman afraid to drive places...how ridiculous does that sound? I mean, maybe it does sound a little weird, especially considering I'm not a new new driver. I got my license in 2008, so that's long enough to have shaken off any driving jitters, right? I mean, most of the time, I only drove a short distance, around the southwest suburbs of Chicago. I only went out in the morning time or late evening, really. I rarely went out when there was heavy traffic. So why am I afraid to drive?
It's the probability thing. The more you do something, there's more of a chance of it going wrong at some point, right? I don't even want to talk up on things, but I have to shake this shit off! I came to Los Angeles to WORK! Not to sit in the house and overly worry about if something is too far to drive to. And both my husband and best friend drive EVERYWHERE! They've driven across state line, gone on road trips, had to drive very fucking far for work. When is their tenacity going to rub off on me?! Maybe perhaps it's because my mom doesn't drive and always talked about being too nervous of a driver to pursue getting a license. Maybe because my aunts don't drive also? That's really no excuse. My grandmother drove. My uncle drives. My cousin drives. My brother drives! These are all people who I've always seen driving! I shouldn't be scared.
And I can't be scared. Especially now. Because Anneka, my 5 year old daughter, has a very important audition tomorrow in Hollywood and I have to suck this shit up and be strong for her. It's not even that far from where we live, and I don't even have to take the freeway. So I should shut up and just do it, right?! I shouldn't be afraid of the twins getting motion sickness, because that usually only happens after being in the car a long time and going on the freeway, nonstop. And if they do get motion sickness and throw up, I should come prepared with a change of clothes and towels. They're usually fine right after throwing up anyway. And yes, I'm afraid of parallel parking. I never really had to do that in the suburbs. Tomorrow, I have to find parking on the streets of Hollywood. Am I going to freak out over this?! A little. Yeah, maybe people will stand around and point and laugh, watching me move this big ass minivan back and forth, trying to squeeze into a spot that's probably big enough. But I have to be strong for Anneka. Don't even let her know her mommy is freaked.
And by the way, we got the sides for the audition (that's actor-speak meaning the few lines she has to learn for the audition)...and my baby already has them memorized! What an awesome kid. She's so excited. She drew her talent manager a card. How cute!