Stand-up Comedy Stuffs

I haven't been updating this blog as much as I used to and I'm not sure why. I get writers block from time to time, but I'm never fully blocked. I write jokes a lot, and I still write for HelloGiggles and now I also write for PopWrapped, which gets my name out there even more.

I'm playing a show tomorrow night in North Hollywood at the Haha Cafe Comedy Club at 8:30 (in case you're reading this and you live in L.A.), and then on Feb. 2nd, I'm producing and hosting my own show at Flappers, with headliner Josh Fadem, and featuring Shannon Bobo, Mischa McCortney, Steve Dez, Martin Rizo and Rye Silverman. All awesome comics, all my friends who I've met while doing stand-up in L.A.

He was on 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and a slew of other things. He's a great friend of mine and probably my comedy hero right now. Don't worry, I'm still obsessed with Chris D'Elia.

The last time I ran into Chris D'Elia, I'd just done a show at the Comedy Store, and he was out front. I walked up to him and he remembered me. I told him I'd just done a set up in the Belly Room and he asked me how'd it gone. I was all "wow, I'm having a real conversation with Chris D'Elia". I was probably totally awkward and weird. Hopefully, he didn't notice. No matter how many times I run into him or talk to him, I'll still be thinking "Oh My God, I'm talking to Chris D'Elia".

And my 4 year old Laila, when she sees him goes "That's Chris D'Laila".

Yep, I'm still obsessed with Chris D'Laila.

And Bastille. Forever. Who are the musical guest on this week's SNL. That makes MY LIFE.

Me doing stand-up! And a few of my favorite comedians

Video of my first gig ever, at Flappers in Burbank, CA! I still can't believe I did it!

I was super nervous leading up to it, but right before I got on stage, I told my self "This is something I've wanted to do forever. Go up there, and just do it!". Thank God for Bry and his support, and my dear cousin Kecia who flew out from Chicago for my show!
Also thanks to my great improv teacher Kevin Fleming, who is just the greatest teacher. He's the reason I got over my stage fright!

Wow, I sound like I'm giving an acceptance speech for an award. I am being so ridiculously annoying right now. But whatever, watch the video of my first time on stage! I'm working on getting much better so I can own the stage the way my hero Chris D'Elia does. You know what, I'll include a video of him too, just so you can see what I mean, in case you haven't heard of him.

This is from April 7th, 2013.

Chris D'Elia...my favorite comedian. I've met him 3 times now. He's a great guy.

My friend Brent Morin. He kills every time he's on stage. And not bad on the eyes, huh, ladies?? Hey, I can look! I'm not dead!

This, Chris D'elia with Bobby Lee. It's too funny not to post!

I've been performing and stuffs

Come catch me live!
May 12th, Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank
7pm $5!

Both of these shots taken at the Haha Comedy Club in North Hollywood, CA.

Oh, and here's some stupid shit I said and/or did this week:

Stand-up Updates

I have not been keeping up with this blog enough! I think I should make myself write a post on here once a week! Done! From now on, I'll update this thing once a week. Perhaps I should pick a particular day of the week when I have to put something! I never updated this thing to promote my last show or to talk about how great it felt to finally do stand-up! Let me start with that!

Okay, I wasn't that nervous, which I thought was weird. I was nervous, but not shaking and throw-uppy, like I expected. I knew I was going up 5th, so while the 3rd comic was on stage, I went to the washroom and just shook it off. I reminded myself that this was my biggest dream, being a stand-up comedienne, and that I was prepared. The emcee introduced me, and I ran up there! I had energy, I remembered all my jokes and even ad-libbed a bit! Everyone laughed, I was happy, blah blah blah, I'm playing there again May 12th! Oh, and I'm getting video of my set this week! Score!

I'm also doing open mics around Los Angeles and trying to book some more gigs. I have a pretty big audition coming up this Friday. I don't want to talk about it, I shouldn't have brought it up. But I'm preparing a new joke that just came about yesterday based on the true story of my damn building manager complaining about my little 3 year olds jumping. Okay, when I moved into this apartment, onto the second floor, they were 2 and way more noisy! Now, let me correct myself, this is the building manager's supervisor, who does not live in the building. Is it my fault that your floors and walls are cheap and thin and can hear every sound?! Should I staple my kids clothes to a chair and tell them to sit still all day? And they go to bed at 7:30...there's no late night loudness! In other words, shut up lady! I got way more to say there, but I'll save it for the stage!

Also, I got to go see Chris D'Elia for the 4th time last night. I also got to see Whitney Cummings, who had retweeted me earlier in the day. That was awesome! Got me new followers on Twitter! Also, Jeff Ross showed up, so did Dane Cook, and friggin' Finesse Mitchell, who used to be on SNL! That was awesome! And my friend Brent Morin hosted! He's this sweet adorable guy who just did a pilot with his good friend Chris D'Elia! Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to say hi and hug Chris again, but I got to talk to and hug Brent. He's hilarious! I mean, his set absolutely kills!

Okay, that's enough for now! Don't forget to go to my author page on HelloGiggles.com and read my posts over there!

My Best Tweets!

My Best Tweets

(Real tweets from my Twitter account from 2009-2012)

I gotta stop calling people 'douche whistles'.

I wanna be a manager. Manage a young rapper by the name of Lord Swaggington.

My Instagram still being down is making me Insta-angry. Instamad. Making my day instabad? #badraplyrics

#ThingsToNeverAskADJ So what do u do for a living? Not this, right?

Why is everyone saying YOLO? You only live once?? Does no one believe in reincarnation?!!

I wanna supermoon you. (Whole ass, plus some front)

Things get on your nerve, threaten to punch it. Even if it's attached to you. Or in your face. #toothache

U know, Lana Del Rey...people wouldn't hate u if u were talented

Rain on Wednesday? L.A. think she's Chicago. Silly bitch. You're not Chicago!

 Whore score and 7 years ago, I was a whore who scored.

 If I had a boat, I'd throw you off that motherslucker...Natalie Wood style...OMG #WENTTOOFAR #CRYING #SORRYDEARNATALIE

U got ABC hopes with a basic cable brain.

"Feliz Dia de Turkey de los Muertos"! Isn’t that Spanish for “Happy Thanksgiving”??

You can slap cinnamon into a biscuit but that don't make it a scone! #deliciouslydisappointed

We need to occupy Sesame Street. No protest...just it looks like a fun place to occupy! I wanna hang out at Hooper’s store with Chris and Abby Caddaby! You do too, don’t lie!

U think Arnold's mistress went around telling people 13 years ago "I'm Schwarzepreggers!"

Bin Laden probably got found out by checking in on #foursquare.

Bin Laden tweeted a pic of himself at that mansion and forgot about the geotagging feature.

I love my Kindle. Yes, I've woken up in the middle of the night and seen it destroying real books, but whatever man, it’s totally boss!

Damn, almost choked on this 100 calorie pack cookie. Gonna sue the shit outta Nabisco. Or the writers of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

I just pooped so much that I lost like 50 lbs. I am now a petite size 4.

You Better Be a Comedian!

I had a great show last night! We had a pretty big crowd and I think I just vibed off of that and went for it. My lines came out more naturally I think. I loved getting laughs off of the ridiculousness I have to say! I mean, it sticks to the script of "Reservoir Dogs", and I play the Quentin Tarantino role. I start off the play. As soon as the lights go up, I start talking. Now, if you've seen the play, you know what Quentin, as Mr. Brown, says. It's pretty funny. It always gets laughs from the crowd. And then the girls, my castmates, chuckle and adlib and it makes it even funnier!

The problem is, I think I'm really going to miss doing this every Thursday once the show ends. We only have 2 more shows left! Once the show ends, I think I'm going to just concentrate on getting this screenplay made. I need a literary agent! Like, stat!

So today, I'm just spending the day with the girls, watching them play with their Barbie pools my aunt bought them. Oh, and watching "Alvin and the Chipmunks". And stealing kisses. I say to them "Are you mommy's Mia?" and Mia goes "No!", smiling. So I do sad face and then she goes "Yes!", laughing! I do that to all three of them. Each one of them always says no first, then says yes once I do sad face. What funny kids. I tell them they'd better be stand-up comedians! LOL