Sunday, January 4, 2015

Short story- "Sophia Died Today"

This is something I wrote for my book of short stories called "Unsent Letters". It's fiction. I wrote it a few weeks back. I hope you like it.



Sophia died today. I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you. I was hoping you would hear it from another, as I hate to be a bearer of bad news.

You know she’d been sick and you hadn't come around lately. I’m not trying to make you feel worse than you already do, trust me. I’m only pointing it out because no one knew how to reach you. And she asked for you. She asked for you twice. Once, right after you left for the last time. The second and final time, it was the day that she died. Today.

In the morning, I got a call from Norman. He told me he’d been up with Sophia most of the  night. He said she’d awakened several times in the night and would start coughing so badly that she was spitting out blood. She was in and out of sleep. At one point, he said he could hear her talking, whispering. He went closer to her and noticed she had fallen asleep again, but was talking to someone. She said “It only hurts some of the time”. And that’s all he could make out.

She refused to go back to the hospital. She knew her time was near and didn't want to die in that sterile place, hooked up to machines. She wanted to leave on her own terms in her own bed in the house she so dearly loved.

She would tell me about the great times she had in that house with her husband before he died. She told me stories of the Christmases she spent there, surrounded by her children. There was so much love and warmth, leftover from the memories she cherished. She wanted to be there in the bed she shared with Raymond, with the pictures of her family on the walls. No one wanted to rip her away from that. So we stayed with her the whole time. Mostly in her room.

Did you know that Sophia was only 75? I know it seems like a lot, compared to us. She’d lived a lot before we came into her care. Her stories never got old to me, though. Even the ones I’d heard before, I was always happy when she’d retell them. Her eyes would light up and I could see what happened, in her eyes.
Sophia was not our mother. I know that’s what you’d say because you've said it before. I know in some ways, you feel as if she failed you. Again, I don’t want to make you feel worse. Even if you won’t admit it to me, I know that you missed her. And you have to know that she missed you too. Sophia did all she could possibly do for you. And if your mother hadn't come back, she was going to keep you, like she kept Norman and me.


I walked into her room this morning, knowing she was gone. They’d taken her out of there, and even though I knew she was gone, I could still feel her there. I could feel her warmth. If you want to say good-bye, I’m sure you can feel her there too.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Purgatory


The money is gone
And you never came
Too hot for the sun
On the northwest side
Between heaven and hell
Your splendor,
Blatantly lied,
Asleep in sadness
And attempted murder
Wipe the crusts from your eyes,
Curly-haired girl
And remaining,
In grief
And complaining
As I write to remember
Your sensitive side
And just one more mystery

inside of your shadow

Friday, January 2, 2015

Blue Poisons


My soul cries without the burning embers of your touch
I am naked, disarmed, without shelter
And with dreams of a humble smile
And to fear away from a shallow touch
Since craving your naked skin, warm body
Eyes so inviting, loving, sensitive touch
Years of dreams, finally coming to fruition
And blue poisons ruining forever
Living a terrible reality of manic indefiance
Growing vastly, running quickly to the sober light
Enduring rivers that flow at the thought of you
And tears that only appear in the dark of night
Since when do I plead for an emotional touch
I can’t withstand this grueling hour of invalidity
I will close my eyes and hear phrases, unused
And conjure spells in the back of my mind
I can’t bear to be without the sight of you
The uniqueness of your eyes and the warmth of your kiss
Your awaiting hands reaching for mine
And I pray for this moment, just a moment to exist
To show you my inner-strengths, I can achieve
But is there a point; is there shame in this?
What of the Promised Land we share in a kiss
Awaiting a kingdom, praying to exist
Or to drown in a river, an endless forever
A soul-less determination and a defining silence
A poison I will so happily die of
And a forever good-bye that’s worth a million lives

Come home to me.


Thursday, January 1, 2015

Old Poetry: Without the Night

So I found some old poetry on my old laptop. I've decided to share, no matter how much anxiety it gives me. And it gives me great anxiety to share my writing sometimes. But I've learned from my many literary heroes. Not guts, no glory, right?



Without the Night


We’re all on the chopping block
But I’d rather be on yours
I’d rather be naked
Then covered in mud from his backyard
I try to resist temptation
But nothing’s left to be done
So I go my own way
And solitude follows
And I know I’m not a saint
I’ve sinned among the sinners
I’ve got it bad this time
And I just can’t shake it
When do we learn to fight?
When do we learn to heal?
Why is this so hard and disgusting
At the same time, appealing?
I will never trust
Though I have never lied
And the thought of lying next to you
Takes my breath
I hold it inside
The night overcomes us
And tragedy has fallen to light
This is a fucking nightmare

Although without the night.

Friday, December 12, 2014

But it's Shocking Though...


Sick Laila, lying on her dad.


I've barely had any sleep. I should be asleep now. Laila is sick, which sucks. These girls keep getting sick! The doctor has said before that it's just allergies and they take allergy medicine but I'm guessing they need something stronger. She's only running a low-grade fever and she's playing with Legos with her sisters. But you know what this means? The other two are at danger of getting sick! Ugh. I know, I know, little kids get sick, not a huge deal. But last night Laila slept in bed with me, which just makes me paranoid. I was taking her temp with the ear thermometer probably too many times. Every time she coughed a little, I woke up and checked on her.

Last night there was this huge storm! I mean, okay, I'm from Chicago, I've been through  huge storms before. It was just a little shocking because we don't experience these types of storms in Los Angeles. I've been here almost 3 years and I can't remember a time where a storm was this strong to a point where the windows were shaking and I thought for a second that perhaps there was a tornado.

And guess what?! There was a tornado! Granted, not in Glendale, but there was one spotted in south L.A.! Tell me that's not shocking! So now we have to worry about both Tornadoes and earthquakes. Great. Freakin' great.

But what am I talking about?! I'm not worried about these things. I'm worried about getting paid! The new year is approaching and I'm starting to feel antsy. The kids are in school and I got my creative juices flowing. There's so much more I could be doing. I have a manager, time to find an agent! And it's time to hit the stage again! I haven't done stand-up since April! Can I even be considered a comedian anymore?! I haven't auditioned in months! The last audition I had was over the summer for a commercial. I did go to an acting coach not that long ago. And I think I'm going to go back to iO West to finish their improv program. I really miss it. I started at Second City in Chicago. It's time to finally finish! I'd also like to do a web series.

Okay. I'm going back to watching the news about this storm. Tornadoes, man. Tornadoes. That's some bullshizz!

(Please God, no snow too!)

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Poem



Hail to thee
I strike you down
The Earth moves
Without a sound
I walk on egg shells
No foster, no faith
All of this is me
All over the place
Not so intriguing
The bite of cold air
Distance is leaving
Though you wouldn't dare
Call out to me
With lust in your eyes
And beg for one more wish
A dream you'd despise.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Open Season?!



Is it open season on black men?? This affects all of us. Cops are getting away with murdering unarmed men. There isn't even an indictment before there is a miscarriage of justice. These cops haven't been arrested and won't go to trial. Something is wrong with this system. Something is terribly wrong when as a black woman, living in America, I have to worry about the same thing my people had to worry about in the 1960s, when my parents were children!

Yes, it makes me angry. It's not just a matter of color, it's a matter of human rights. We're all human and deserve the same rights. When black men seem to be the only ones murdered in cold blood, unarmed black men, then we should all rally together because it could be your son, your father, your cousin, your best friend. It's not just a black issue, it's an American issue.

This week was also a time of enlightenment. You begin to realize that there is more racism than you thought. Just read through your Facebook posts from your "friends" or your Twitter timeline. Those who stand with Darren Wilson, saying he had every right to shoot, multiple times, an unarmed Michael Brown, try to explain to me how you would feel if Michael Brown was your brother? And the cop sympathizers who believe we should just "do what we're told and we won't get shot"? Yes, that's an actual tweet I saw. What about 12-year-old Tamir Rice? Would he have been killed if he was a white child playing with a BB gun? And I'm sorry, did the cop yell for him to drop the weapon? Was he told to put his hands up and was given a chance to yell out "it's just a toy?!" Perhaps the "I thought it was a real gun" was just an excuse to kill another black male?

During the protests in Ferguson, I witnessed through the power of social media my people standing up for what they believe in. Were we supposed to shrug our shoulders and just say "The Grand Jury spoke, they must be right"?? No. Nothing ever changes in this world without people standing up for what they believe in.

Eric Garner didn't deserve to die. Michael Brown didn't deserve to die. And Tamir Rice and countless others did NOT deserve to die.

#HandsUpDontShoot
#ICantBreathe
#BlackLivesMatter



photo from here

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Strange Dreams

I've been having really strange dreams. Let me start with last night...

It was my birthday (my birthday is in Feb, actually), and I was having this big blow-out party in a fancy hotel. There were waiters with serving trays, lots of champagne, and rich people dressed fancy, ball gowns and tuxedos. Don't ask me why, but my husband and kids weren't there. Actually, no one I actually knew was there. The place was filled with celebrities and no-face supposed rich people. I guess I knew them all, as they kept telling me "Happy Birthday" and offering me champagne. Then Gwen Stefani showed up. For some reason, she had on a track suit, said she couldn't stay long, but she had to come see "Her Girl Angie". I remember the track suit was black and, of course, she had on her bright red lipstick. At the end of the night, I guess I'd had too much to drink and then Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian, who was pregnant because she always is, offered to drive me home. Hmmm....what the actual fuck?!

Then I have this reoccurring dream. It's really weird. It takes place in this huge apartment that has 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 kitchens and 2 living rooms. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. But then, for some reason, we decide we don't want the entire place (maybe we can't afford it??), and we rent out half of the apartment to some single guy. Here's the thing...we can get into his part of the apartment very easily by opening a door, that leads to his living room, kitchen, bedroom, etc.

I had a really weird one night before last! I guess I was younger, and I was living at home in my old apartment with my mother and brother on South Essex, back on the east side of Chicago. My brother brought one of his friends over, and it was the comedian Chris D'elia! Now, in the dream, he wasn't the face actor/comedian Chris D'elia. He was just my brother's cute friend, and I was crushing on him hard. And then he said something to me, and I remember getting butterflies.

Here's the thing: I tried this "Lucid Dreaming" self-hypnosis thing. It's in an app on my phone, and maybe it sounds goofy to some, but I thought "Hey, what the hell". I wrote a movie called "Hello Again" 2 years ago about a young woman who's depressed and starts sleeping all the time because her dreams are better than her reality. In the dream, she realizes she's having a dream, and reads up on how to control the dream. It's based on a long time ago when I had this dream where I was walking down the street of my apartment building that I lived in with my mother and brother, again, the apartment on Essex. All of a sudden, the street turns into a river of blood and I run into the apartment building, and it's still so vivid considering this dream was years ago. I run into the apartment and see my brother, who's in a panic. I say to him "Gene! This is a dream! We're in a dream!" and he yells "I know! Angie! Wake yourself up!" and I say "I can't!" and he begins to shake me. I then woke up. It's sooo weird that I can remember dreams from years ago. My mother used to think I was making these things up, saying I was a great storyteller. She said no one remembers so many details of their dreams.

Truthfully, I don't always remember my dreams. There are nights where I wake up and I know it was a nightmare because I'm scared and shivering, but then can't tell Bry what happened at all, just a few minutes later. Sometimes all I remember is one person who was in the dream. There was a dream a couple of weeks ago that involved Bry and myself in an apartment (not this one) and we were talking. I don't know what we were talking about or any emotions.

I guess I only remember the ones that make me feel something. Bry and I talking is just an everyday occurrence, hence the reason why I basically only remembered the fact that we were in a different apartment.

I'm going to start taking notes of my dreams. The screenplay for "Hello Again" I always thought was lacking. There was something missing and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I think perhaps I needed to research dreams and dream-states more. Investigate this notion of self-hypnosis and training yourself to control your dreams, if that's even possible. Look at me. I sound like I'm doing real scientific research. I'm just trying to get a good movie going.

Later guys.
















Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Do You Love Peanut Brittle and Gourmet Candy?

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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Doing My Job

I'm trying to write a quick post here to keep this blog up-to-date, but I probably should've done this while the kids were in school.

Eagle Rock, CA


After I got back from dropping them off at school this morning, I came home thinking "I'm going to get a lot done today" and then I promptly fell asleep on the couch. Don't blame me! I had trouble sleeping last night! The husband was snoring, then I was cold, then I woke up to the horrible smell of a skunk! We had all of our windows open, in every room, and there was a breeze. You can imagine what that smelled like! So I got up and started spraying Febreeze around the house, and then I sprayed too much and then that smell started to bother me!

On the plus side, I got the kids to school earlier than usual so they could sit together in the cafeteria and have breakfast. As long as they're getting to school everyday, I'm doing my job, right?

Anneka before school


On top of that job, besides the obvious things I do around the house, including cooking and being their chauffeur, I also get paid to Tweet and I sell various items on eBay.  That's my job, for now. I'm making money, which is cool, and I actually have a savings account with money in it! This might be too much information, but it's all legit. Don't worry. I'm still working for Inside Edition. They call me when they have a story they want me to look into and report on. That's so much fun. I love being on national tv, especially when people text me or send me messages on Facebook saying "I saw you on tv!". I've probably been on Inside Edition more than 10 times now. I've honestly lost count. And then sometimes my feature is in the weekend edition of the show, and then there are times where my segments are for the website. You can always check the website for some of my videos at InsideEdition.com.

Well, the girls just went in their room to play school. I'll go watch Inside Edition and continue to look for opportunities on the web. I'm looking into taking classes for voiceover acting. I asked a friend, Kevin Michael Richardson about where I should go for training. He does the voice of Cleveland Jr. on The Cleveland Show and Family Guy. I do weird voices around the house for my kids, I might as well be doing it for the masses and getting paid!

Later.

Laila before school

Monday, September 22, 2014

Productive Days

So I'm back on track and I have a long list of things to do. In my last post, I talked about distractions and how I was used to working with them in the background. Perhaps I work better under pressure? I do remember back in school when I'd have a test the next day, I'd always forget up until the last minute, then I'd be up at 11 o'clock at night, cramming for it. I always aced it! I just always put off things, and sometimes important things.

Me, hugging Mia while listening to Laila


I've been utilizing my iphone more lately for things it can actually do, besides playing games and Tweeting. I've been using the alarm clock, calendar and notepad. Don't ask why I never really used them before. Maybe because I didn't have super important business before? Now that the kids are in school, I can concentrate on the things I need to do in the house and outside of it. I'm also working really hard on my career, keeping up with auditions, meeting with an acting coach, etc.

Anneka, Laila & Mia

I can't exactly say things are running smoothly. Last week I got the girls to school late for the first time. A whole 15 minutes late! It's strange because I'm always on time! Doctor's appointments, auditions, meeting up with friends, etc. I'm ALWAYS on time. Or early. Actually, I'm usually super early. I've gone to auditions and job interviews with time to kill. I just love being prepared and I hate rushing. I'll try my best not to take them to school late again. Of course, that was a special circumstance because usually Bry helps me get them up in the mornings and we all leave about the same time, with him heading to work. That one particular day, Bry was out of town, taking care of business in Chicago. I barely slept a wink that night before. It was a mixture of Laila's coughing in her sleep, not used to sleeping alone and worrying about my husband being on an airplane.

I was alright, of course. He wasn't gone for long and I got decent sleep the next night. Hooray for me!

Anneka, before school this morning.


I still have things to do tonight, getting the girls' snacks prepared for school tomorrow. I really need to start going to bed earlier so I can have a more productive day. Or maybe I'm being too hard on myself. As of late, I've had a lot of productive days.

Me

Saturday, September 20, 2014

When You're Used to Distractions


I haven't kept up with my blog much, I know. It's bad especially now that I have so much more time to write. All 3 kids are in school 5 days a week now, so there's no excuse, right? Right?! But lately I've felt like I've had writer's block. I haven't been able to complete a thought.

I have ideas, yes. I'm not totally blocked. I've sat down at my computer and tried to write whole ideas out, but for some reason or another, I can't finish them. And during the day, I'm not being interrupted. I have the tv off and the phone isn't ringing non-stop. Perhaps it's the quiet that I have to get used to and just listen to myself. I don't think I'm used to fully listening to myself. When you're use to distractions, it's quite hard to work without them. Does that make sense?

The incredible Jack Plotnick and me


Meanwhile, I'm getting back into acting. No auditions yet, but I did meet with an acting coach last week. He did so much for me! He's a great guy, named Jack Plotnick, who I've seen on television a lot. A friend of mine, Arae, suggested I sign up for his e-mails to find out when his acting lectures are taking place. I decided to look him up on Facebook and ask him about personal coaching. He's not too expensive so I set up a time with him last Monday.

Honestly, he was amazing! I told him about my anxiety issues and he gave me tips on how to get those thoughts out of your head. I memorized a scene to do a mock audition for him a few days earlier. When I got there, I was sure I wouldn't remember it and told him how nervous I was. I always am with new people. It  usually takes a lot for me to be comfortable around new people. For some reason or another, I was very comfortable around him. I did my scene, nervously, but I remembered it, which was surprising to me. We then began to talk and he had me recall some things to tell him about where I grew up, etc., which got me even more comfortable. He then told me to do my scene again, and I was able to go right into it. I wasn't nervous.

When I finished, he smiled. He told me it was amazing and that it looked very natural, not like acting. He told me even that it was "award-winning" acting. If you know me, you know I have problems taking compliments. I was like "what?! No way!" but he tried to convince me to believe in myself and don't be so hard on myself. Do you know how many people have told me that I'm too hard on myself??

I also have this thing where I assume that people don't like me. And I can't stand the idea of someone secretly hating me. It's such a people-pleasing thing of wanting to know if such-and-such likes me and how I can get someone to like me, or like me more. Yes, I know, I shouldn't be that way and I shouldn't care what other people think about me. I should just live my life and "do me" or whatever. I'm working on it. That's what I have a therapist for.


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

My Therapist Says...



I had this plan to try to blog everyday once the girls were in school, but things don't always go as planned. They are now in their third week of school and this is the first blog I've posted in forever. It's been at least a month since I even looked at this thing. But in my defense, a lot has been going on.

By a "a lot", I really mean "not much". I know. I just contradicted myself. It feels like nothing's been going on, I mean. No job, nothing exciting. I'm not doing any stand-up and tv show appearances. I haven't been on Inside Edition in over a month. Not that they don't want to use me or anything, it's just they haven't needed commentary on certain news stories, except one day last week. They called, but I had such a sore throat that my speaking voice wasn't normal. I was barely squeaking out words so I had to turn them down.

The first week of school, I was a little depressed. My twins started kindergarten and Ani started 2nd grade. It was just a reminder that they are growing up and there was nothing I can do about it. At least when Ani started kindergarten, I had the twins to focus on. Now, no one's at home for me to focus on. Except for me.

I started seeing a therapist. She wants me to focus on me. I'm so used to putting other people first, I've forgotten what I wanted. I've forgotten what I came out here to do before it's too late. Honestly, I never expected to be a mom, but I certainly never saw myself as this over-obsessive "helicopter" parent. I drop them off at school, then stand outside of the gate watching them in their respective lines. I dress all three of them alike everyday. I'm overly worried about if the twins are making friends and if their teacher is paying attention to them.

Focus on me? That's kind of a joke, right? Yes, I now have hours in the day where I can have a full thought uninterrupted, but what else am I supposed to be doing? I've been making money by Tweeting for major brands. I buy stuff cheap then sell them on eBay for profit. That's my business. That's what I've been doing to bring extra money into the house. But I haven't done stand-up in months, I haven't been on any auditions, and I haven't even been keeping up with this blog.

My therapist says I'm too hard on myself. She's right, I know. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do certain things and if I don't succeed, I kick myself when I'm down. This week I've felt much better about things. Last week I was sick and kept the girls home a few days because they were sick too. I spent those days laying around, taking medicine and eating very little. I lost a few pounds. This week, I'm reassessing and making myself "do". I have all of this time to do what I moved my family out here to do. And there's this voice in the back of my head that's sing-songing "Don't screw it  upppp". Well I'm telling that voice to FUCK OFF.

Was this entire post one big, long ramble? See...I'm still being too hard on myself. Don't tell my therapist.

Friday, August 1, 2014

The Summer of TV



This has been the summer of catching up on tv. Shut up, all of you! Yes, I know, this is L.A., I'm near beautiful beaches and all that. But let me just say this...it's hot outside! And didn't you guys hear about that lightning strike at Venice Beach last weekend? That's terrifying to me! Oh, and sharks. There are sharks. 


These bitches!

Anyway, I've been in the house a lot lately. I go out from time to time, obviously, and thanks to my dear friend Laura for coming to visit me, knowing I'm kind of cooped up in the house with the kids. I can't say that I've been bored or anything, as I've been selling stuff on eBay and Tweeting for money (yes, you can do that). I've been doing all of that on top of being a mom to 3 little girls who always want juice or Goldfish crackers and stuff like that. I've also been cleaning the house! (I felt very good after cleaning the hell out of the bathroom and then didn't want anyone to use it because that bitch was SPOTLESS.)

I'm also writing a new pilot. I wrote a pilot called "Jersey Did It", but I entered it in this contest called NBC Playground so hopefully I'll hear from them soon. So I started writing a new pilot, untitled for  now, and I'm just working out the kinks and getting some ideas for it before I sit down and write the actual script in Final Draft. 

The talented Mindy Kaling...love her!


So, television, right! I've been watching the crap out of The Mindy Project. I started watching it when it first premiered, then I got busy in life and episodes piled up on the dvr then slowly got deleted. Whatever, I'm making up for it now with Hulu Plus, which I originally signed up for for The Hotwives of Orlando, which is epic, by the way. And I'm not just saying that because my friend Tymberlee Hill is on it. The show is HILARIOUS! Unfortunately, I binge watched it and now it's over and that sucks. I hope there will be a season 2!

The Hotwives of Orlando. This show is amazing. Check it out!


I'm also really excited because I found out last night that NBC announced there will be a season 2 of Undateable! And again, I not only love that show because I've met all of the guys on the show at some point (especially Chris D'elia, who's the reason I started doing stand-up in the first place, regardless of that stupid fucking thing he said during that live interview, but I digress...).  Undateable is truly funny. There are very few shows on tv right now that make me laugh so hard I have to pause it, then complain of chest pains, go drink some water, use the toilet, then go back to watching it but first rewind the episode to hear that joke again!

Me with Chris D'elia from 'Undateable'

Me with Brent Morin from 'Undateable'


Another show that makes me laugh that hard is Nathan for You! How can you not love Nathan Fielder?! He's so epic for so many reasons. He's so awkward and acts like people don't want to be around him like he's some sort of loser weirdo, but I'd love to be around him! If I run into him, I might just invite him over to play Checkers or something like that. I bet he has a beautiful girlfriend and great friends and all of that. But on his show, he acts like he's never kissed a woman let alone had sex and that no one ever wants to be around him. Great acting! I think he's hot!

I love this man!

So I guess I'll go back to watching The Mindy Project for now then check to see if these shoes I'm selling on eBay have any bids yet. Later!

Monday, July 28, 2014

Can't Take Them Anywhere



We went into L.A. today. The heart of L.A. If you know me or even follow my blog, you know I live in Glendale, which is kind of a suburb of Los Angeles. It's nice, but sort of boring at times. It's good if you have children. Low crime, good schools, blah blah blah, you get the point. 

Anyway, we headed over to Golden Apple Comics on Melrose. I've been told that celebs shop there pretty often...just not when I'm there. It's okay, though. The last time I was there was for Free Comic Book Day last year to see my dear friend Sherri Dupree-Bemis. She's the singer and guitarist of the awesome rock band Eisley. She was there with her husband Max, lead singer of the band Say Anything and comic book writer. He was there signing and we got to see Sherri and meet their new baby, Lucy!


So we go there today, the twins see the covers of comic books that scare them. There was no crying and I know they're 5, it's just a phase, but geez! Can I take them anywhere now?



Afterwards we went to Target where Anneka got upset because she couldn't find the Pokemon cards she wanted. Again, there was no crying but geez!

Then we had this sweet moment, driving through Silverlake, we came across this reservoir. It was such a serene scene. The breeze, the palm trees blowing in the wind...Anneka almost stepping in dog poop in the grass. We took some cute pictures, then just stood there, gazing at the water and speaking of memories past.




They start school in 2 weeks. 2 weeks! I have to send my twinsies out into the world to have their own lives...outside of me! I'll be okay. I'll be auditioning, looking for writing jobs, going back to iO West to finish the improv program and taking yoga classes. Yep. I'll be alright...I think. 

Thursday, July 24, 2014

About Kim Kardashian Hollywood...



This game is stupid. It really is. I mean, you don't learn anything from it, it doesn't test your abilities or make you think very much and there are no real rewards to it. I've said several times on social media in the past month since I first downloaded it that it was stupid. Somehow...it hasn't stopped me from playing it!

I look hot though!


In my defense, I played the original game, Stardom. It was really fun at first! You're a character who has moved to Los Angeles with very little money and you live in a slum with a slumlord who's looking for his money. You then have to go work at the local Starbeans so you can pay said slumlord. There's a mouse that lives in the hole in your wall and everyone is mean to you. You get a break and get to be in a commercial, taking over for a friend, and everything takes off from there. It was very time consuming as your only goal, really, is to make it to the A List, so you start taking every commercial, tv show, and movie that your agent sends you out for. That's not Kim K.'s game.

I was playing this game 85 weeks ago? 
The original game got boring after a while.


It's made by the same company, Glu, and it's basically the same concept with some differences. For example, in Kim's game, you're not an actress, you're a "model". But you're a Kim Kardashian-style model with a few runway shows thrown in there. I haven't gotten very far in the game (I do have a life!), but so far there are a few disturbing things in this game also!


1. All of the Guys You Can Date Are Mean as Shit!




You go to meet up with the guy. Even if you're on the A List and he's on the E list, he'll still insult your outfit!
Like, am I not good enough for you?? It makes me wonder if this comes from certain other men telling Kim that her outfits suck. I do remember a Keeping Up with the Kardashians episode where Kim says something about Kanye not liking how she dressed so he brought in a WHOLE NEW WARDROBE for her. Yes, really.


2. You're Talked Into Doing Nude Pics for a Famous Photographer

It's almost like "Hey, you knew what you were getting into when you said you wanted to be a famous model...now disrobe!" Okay, yes, this happens in modeling in real life. Would I do this in real life? No comment! But what about the young girls who are playing this game? But at the same time, it's up to their parents to know what kind of games their kids are playing and your 13 year old daughter shouldn't be playing a game made by someone who has a sex tape. But that's just my opinion...


3. The Illuminati




Yes, Kim. You joking about the Illuminati in your game really throws us off the trail. "Oh, she's joking about it, so it must not be true". Nice try, though. Nice try.


4. Willow Pape is Probably Paris Hilton

This is the character in the game who's also a model and does nothing but put you down. She seems to just hang around, and when you're least expecting it, she's there, ready to say something totally mean to you. I wonder why Kim approved this character? Is she throwing shade on Paris and thought others wouldn't figure it out? Truthfully, I didn't until people started making the comparisons on Twitter. You be the judge!





5. Your Manager is Annoying as Shit




You just finished with an 8-hour photo shoot. You walk out the door. You're sweaty, you're tired. You want to go see your boyfriend who probably hates your outfit and bam! your manager calls to ask if you want to fly to Punta Mita in Mexico for another 8 hour photo shoot! Sure! Who needs sleep! I'm gonna make it to the A List!


6. Every City in the World Has Very Few Places to Visit

Every single city you visit, there's only a restaurant, a magazine for photo shoots, a nightclub, and a house or apartment building. Yep. That's it. In the original game, at least there was also a coffee place and a pet store!


7. Even Once You Reach the A List, People Are Still Mean to You

You're on the E list...and I leave you unimpressed? REALLY DUDE?!


I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing. In the original game, once you made the A List, people kissed your ass. In this game, some people are still mean...and your boyfriend still hates how you dress. I also wonder if you can get married in this game too. If so, I'm not marrying any of these ass bags just on principle.


8. Once You Reach the A List, It Gets Pretty Boring

Yeah, it's probably a lot of fun in real life, but what is the real goal here now? I reached the A list before I even reached level 10. In the original game, you could lose fans easier, which measured how far you were away from the A list. You start on the E List, which really makes no sense if you're not even in the industry yet, so how do you even have a letter category? Either way, all I'm doing now is going to photo shoots. But, this game has been updated more often than the old game. The old Stardom got boring much quicker. I got pretty far in it, bought all the houses I could, got married, had every pet known to man, then deleted the game off of my phone because I found it pointless. I'll probably do the same thing with this game after a while. But you don't have to be a Kim K. fan to enjoy the game. I mean, she's barely friggin' in it, though she claims to be your friend.

Image via Google Play



Saturday, July 19, 2014

Things I'm Obsessed With Right Now - 7/14

Things I'm Obsessed With Right Now
July 2014 Edition



So July is almost over, and I promise I'll try to make these lists more often, because everyone wants to know what I like, right? What? Anyone? Anyone? Whatever, I'm doing it anyway because these are FUN!

Now, I'm a mom of 3 little girls, but I have to admit, I really like kid's movies myself! I loved Frozen, but I really usually like any Disney movie, generally. My girls got really crazy over Rio when it first came out years ago, and now Rio 2 is out and I can't wait to see it!


In the meantime, I'm finding it really hard to find Frozen merchandise! What's up with that? Was Disney not aware that we'd like to buy our little girls Elsa shirts and Anna dolls and things of that sort? And if they were aware, why are the toys and clothes so scarce?! I don't know. The movie came out over a year ago at the movies! Get it together Disney!


Recently, I needed a new phone. I had the white iPhone 5, but it was a 16 GB which was a HUGE mistake! I mean, only 16GB? I learned my lesson! There's way too many things I do on my phone to have such little space. Ask my kids, I'm usually always taking pictures or filming something! Along with the all of the pics and videos, I also needed space for all of my apps, as I do a lot of social networking. Now that I'm back to using Vine, I use Foursquare from time to time, I need Yelp on my phone at all times and of course, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. It was time for an upgrade, so instead of spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on the iPhone 5S with 32GB, I decided to get an iPhone 5C in pink! I downloaded every app I could ever need, got tones of pics and videos on it and still have plenty of room left for other nonsense!



I'm really into this show called Loiter Squad on Adult Swim. Let me start off by saying, I've never really listening to Tyler the Creator's music.



I know he's a rapper,  I'm aware. But also, this guy is hilarious! I even got Bry into watching it and because of the Adult Swim app (yay! I have room for that app now!), I can watch it anywhere I want, and I stream it using AirPlay in my living room using Apple TV so me and hubby can watch it!


And can we talk about what an amazing thing the Keurig is?? I have limited time in the mornings. This thing is super fast, just pop in a K-cup and your coffee is ready in under a minute. It saves so much time! I get my coffee started and I'm drinking it before a kid can say to me "Mommy, I'm hungry!"


I included the links from Amazon because people often ask me where I got certain things from. Truthfully, when you have Amazon Prime and hate shopping in stores, (especially when your three kids are along), you buy practically everything from Amazon!!! :)

Later!






Wednesday, July 16, 2014

A Healthier Life



I used to be a vegetarian. After Anneka was born, Bry and I decided to be vegetarians.  I honestly have to admit it was because I just couldn't cook meat. I could cook, I've always been able to cook, but after having a baby, raw meat was just gross to me. And all of a sudden, I was always afraid that I was going to undercook the meat and end up with food poisoning. I know, it may sound ridiculous to some, but I was just so turned off from meat. It wasn't a huge shock to those who knew me, like family and friends, because I went through my teen years not eating very much meat and I was always considering an extremely "picky" eater.

No, I didn't get skinny from being a vegetarian, mostly because I was still eating semi-unhealthy. Yes, I was eating broccoli and potatoes and rice and Morning Star burgers. But I was also eating unhealthy things like potato chips and french fries and candy! When I was hungry, I would just grab a bowl full of Lays, because it was quicker than having to stand in the kitchen with a baby in your arms, trying to measure brown rice!

So recently, I've been more concerned with trying to get healthy. Not only because I'm in the entertainment business and I'm sorry, this business is obsessed with looks, that's the truth of it. I'm overweight, but I don't feel bad about myself or anything that's going to cause me to have an eating disorder. My goal is not to be skinny or a size 0. I really just want to be healthy because I don't want to have medical problems! I hate going to the doctor, but I also hate feeling tired and not being able to keep up with kids!

I started using this app on my iPhone called My Fitness Pal. It helps keep track of what you're eating, including how many calories you're taking in. I have to admit, sometimes I forget to log what I'm eating. I'm getting better at it, thankfully, with remembering. While writing this, it just dawned on me I should set up a reminder in my phone that'll say "Log Your Food!" or something to that affect.





And thanks to my girl Christina for the inspiration! We knew each other back in elementary school in Chicago. We reconnected via Facebook a few years ago and she's gone so far with her weight loss that she became an inspiration to me! I asked her what she did to lose weight and she gave me a bunch of great tips that's really helped! I should've asked her a long time ago!

I'm going to start blogging and vlogging on Youtube about my weight loss journey, as I try to eat healthier and workout more. Once upon a time I had a gym membership that I barely used...oh, that's for another post.

Later gators!

Angie


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Summertime In Southern California Hot



So I'm sitting here, trying to work on a few things, and it's hot. I mean, it's summertime in Southern California, what can you expect, right? I foolishly thought it wasn't going to be that warm today, especially since it's 9:30 in the frickin' morning and I'm literally just sitting here typing on my laptop in the living room.

So I opened all of the windows, turned on a few fans and was okay for about 20 minutes. And I don't know what it is about L.A., but the sun just seems so much brighter so I have sunlight smacking me in the face, and I'm sweating and it's certainly not a good look!

Anyway, I turned on the central air finally. I've been trying to conserve energy and not waste money on the central air, but when I start to feel like I'm getting a migraine from the heat, it's time to turn on the air!

I've been super busy as of late, not just because of the kids, even though they've been no problem whatsoever. We're at this point in their ages where I don't have to worry too much about them being in their room playing together quietly because no one's fighting, no one's doing anything sneaky and they're really just coloring or watching tv or just playing nicely. I'm lucky that all three of my girls like to draw because that gives me time to write!

I've been working out more than I ever have, I started therapy to deal with the anxiety I've been having and I've been using a few new beauty products I'll probably write about soon. I've also been working on short comedy videos and a vlog for Youtube. Oh, did I mention I'm selling things on eBay?? I have a lot of stuff that I bought over the years and used either once or not at all! I just sold my Betsey Johnson heels I never wore, and I have a few other things for sale! Go check it out: http://www.ebay.com/usr/angelina_208

Later loves!

Angie


Monday, July 7, 2014

How I Find Movies to Watch

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Funkyflick Company. All opinions are 100% mine.
I love to watch movies! I don't go out to the movies often because we don't always have a babysitter, so I mostly rely on streaming and finding movies to watch online. I usually like to ask my followers on Twitter what they recommend, instead of spending the time I could be watching a movie browsing through lists of movies I can stream! Or checking various sites for one particular movie, just to find out they don't have that one!

I just found out about this website called Funky Flick, which is really cool. It's a one-stop shop for movie enthusiasts like myself! Not only does it give you recommendations on what you may like to watch based on what you've already searched for, it can tell you where you can go view the movie, download it or buy it.

For example, if you're really into fashion and would like to watch a movie about it, go to www.funkyflick.com and type the word into the search bar. Immediately, all of the movies that are about fashion come up. It suggested to me, among others, the film Zoolander, which is about 2 male models who are rivals. A great comedy and one of my favorites! It also gave me other recommendations including Gia and the Sex and the City Movie.

By searching the site, you can find movies similar to your favorite book, other movies, or anything you're into. Then, you can share your pick with your friends on social media.

new movies



I've bookmarked Funky Flick for the next time I need something to watch! Go ahead and go to www.funkyflick.com and try it out! Let me know what you searched for and what movie it suggested in the comments below!

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