My "Hunger Games" sketch

So, for those of you who have seen "The Hunger Games" or read the books, you know that scene where Katniss has found Peeta and they're in the cave all hugged up together? Yeah, I wrote a ridiculous sketch about it:

KATNISS

Peeta, are u dead yet? Hey, I have a gluten sensitivity. Like, all the bread you've ever given us, has given me diarrhea.

PEETA

Are u questioning the cleanliness of my bakery?

KATNISS

No, u don't hear me...I'm allergic to wheat flour. Bread is made with wheat flour...I get diarrhea every time I eat it. I just thought you should know, in case, you know, you die, I wanted to get that off my chest.

PEETA

So in case we die, you had to let me know that?

KATNISS

In case you die...I'm not gonna die. I'm the girl who's on fire.

PEETA

Why did you keep eating the bread if it makes you sick??

KATNISS

I mean, this is the hunger games! Beggers can't be choosers, you know?

PEETA

Great. I made you sick. That's just great.

(Silence)

KATNISS

Hey, Peeta...u dead yet?

PEETA

No...(visibly upset)

KATNISS

You remember a few years back, and I was in the rain, starving to death, and you came outside and threw me that burnt bread that u were supposed to give the pigs?

PEETA

Yes, yes, I remember Katniss.

KATNISS

I was up all night with diarrhea. I even threw up.

PEETA

Look, I'm sorry! Can we just not talk anymore??

KATNISS

Sure, I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone.

(Long silence)

Hey, Peeta...u still alive?

(He sighs)

I just have one question...then I'll leave you alone, okay??

PEETA

Okay, what?

KATNISS

Why do u still smell like bread??

PEETA

What?!

KATNISS

I mean, you haven't baked bread in like, what, 2 weeks?

PEETA

Wow.

KATNISS

I mean, Peeta...we left District 12 weeks ago...they bathed and groomed you in the capitol...you've been in the forest, lost, for over a week. You should smell like death, especially with your wounds, laying here, dying! You still smell like fresh baked bread!

PEETA

Katniss, I'm dying...

KATNISS

But you smell like croissants...

(Sniffing him)

Peeta...are u dead?

(He plays dead)

(She gets up and begins to walk away)

Even in death, he smells like fresh baked bread.