Dwell

I've been sitting here watching movies all week. During the girls "naptime", and I put that in quotation marks because they rarely ever go to sleep, I've been sitting here and just watching films. Mostly on Netflix, sometimes on the DVR and On Demand, but I've just been bored and trying not to think too much. I'm still hurt over that friend thing, which I won't speak of. I rarely speak of it to family and friends. I mean, it's a little traumatic, and I'm not trying to hide that I have feelings, but I just don't understand the situation and I can't just pretend, so I'll just try not to think about it non-stop. Because I know damn well she's not thinking about me.

And I'm not trying to be one of this people who are like "Fuck it, Next!" and get all ghetto and be all like "Fuck that bitch she blah blah blah to me", because that's not who I am. I think this was a learning experience. First of all, if your instincts are telling you that something is wrong, listen to your instincts. Don't just tell yourself that you have to do this and that and it's all in your head. Listen to your heart. I've been listening to my heart a lot lately.

But I really can't just dwell, can I? I have 2 more shows left of "Reservoir Bitches" and I'm going to start working on projects with my cast mate/friend Lisa. She's this talented actor/comedian who has been really kind to me. We have great conversations in between waiting to go back out on stage. She's given me some perspective too. I'm really going to miss these girls once the show ends. And yes, I can see them outside of the show, but it's not going to be the same like when we're all together with a common goal every Thursday night. I had a great conversation with Tina and walked down Hollywood Blvd. with other Lisa last Thursday looking for a shop that sells rubber ears. Yes, you read that right. I miss Carmen, who was in a car accident and had to drop out of the show because her doctor said so. She was always encouraging me to go out and do stand-up, as she's been out here playing the comedy club circuit for a while. Felicia and I have recently been talking a lot too. She's really sweet and talented. She's given me a lot of advice also. She's even giving me workout advice. Aliss has been a sweetheart too. We're in the heist scene together. She always seems perfectly calm before each show. She calms me down! And then the more I talk to Arae, the more I realize that her and I have too much in common! We can quote "Empire Records" and sing old Degrassi songs together. Remember the Zits? "Everybody wants something, and never give up!" We were singing that backstage this past Thursday night. lol

Oh well. I guess I'll have to get everybody together in a few weeks, cause I'm gonna miss them way too hard. 

Laters.