Sunday, October 7, 2012

Head Amputation and Other reasons I'm afraid of having my wisdom teeth removed...

Reasons I'm afraid to get my wisdom teeth pulled:

1. There will be an earthquake right after the dentist has pulled a tooth and the shaking of the Earth jumbles the tooth out of his hand and down my throat. I'll then choke and die. Hey, this is L.A., it could happen.

2. My face will be so swollen people will think I'm fatter than I actually am. (especially through a car window. That'll be that one time Josh Hutcherson is in the next car.)

3. I'm afraid my dentist will try some over-the-shirt action while I'm asleep (or under the shirt...hey, I watch the news)

4. The dentist will trip and fall while I'm unconscious and accidentally knock into one of my other teeth, breaking it into a zillion pieces with a scalpel (or whatever they use to cut the tooth out of the gum. Don't tell me, seriously)

5. Afraid them bitches will grow back and I'll have to go through it all over again.

6. My kids will see me moaning and with a swollen face and think mommy has been bitten by some sort of monster and has turned into said monster.

7. The dentist will pull other teeth accidentally, instead of said wisdom teeth.

8. Pulling the wisdom teeth will make me dumb. (Lack of wisdom)

9. When he goes to pull the teeth, they'll disintegrate into a fine powder, therefore choking me. (I really should've had these bitches pulled a long time ago)

10. I'll end up with a surgery-related infection and will need to have my head amputated.

1 comment:

  1. It's horrible to imagine these scenarios if they happen in real life especially with no. 4. That's really terrible. You might possibly experience the no. 2 and no. 6 though. It's normally part of the recovery process. Nevertheless, if you're truly scared of having your wisdome tooth removed, it will be great to look for an extremely reliable dentist. With his expertise, he'll definitely be able to give you ways not to be afraid of it.