I have gotten to a point in my life where, if I feel a joke coming, it's physically impossible to hold it in. If I hold in a joke, it hurts my chest. Even if the joke is in poor taste, I can't hold it in. Maybe it's because the people around me think I'm so funny that I always feel like I have to be on, so turning "off" makes no sense to me. There are times when I'm not even trying to make a joke, and my best friend will start laughing hysterically. But sometimes, I think that maybe I'm only funny to her. I mean, we've known each other since infancy, as our moms have been friends since they were kids. So sometimes I go out of my way to make strangers laugh.
If I'm out and about, say, at the mall and I see something funny, I will say it outloud. If one stranger laughs, I've done my job. I want to be at Children's Place one day, point out something funny, make a customer or the clerk laugh, then throw down the kid's clothes I was about to buy and yell "Thank you, Good night"! and leave the store. Yeah, well, maybe not all that, but I love making strangers laugh!
So I've been saying for months that I'm going to this stand-up open mic at this comedy club near my house, and I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it! Am I really that afraid to get on a stage and suck? What if no one laughs? I've performed on stage before, singing with Bry playing guitar. I mean, we used to perform at coffeehouses and clubs all the time from about 2001-2003. Why is it such a big deal now? It's the ridiculous fear of failure. I'm sure if I want to be a full-on stand-up comedian, there will be times where the crowd will think I'm not funny. Should I honestly throw in the towel and say "That crowd didn't think I was funny". No! I'm sure Chris Rock, Roseanne Barr, even Richard Pryor had instances where people didn't think they were funny. They didn't throw in the towel!
I gotta build up this comedy confidence. Working on it!
Peace the fuck out!